Corrupt A Wish

[Hirematia]

Granted, you have to wear a blindfold through the entire movie.

I wish that I could get a learner's permit without going to the DMV.

[Odd Republic]

Granted, but the DMV claims the permit to be counterfeit, and promptly burns it.

I wish that no entity of any sort may corrupt this wish, and that the wish grants me as many incorruptible, binding wishes as I should choose.

[Courelli]

Jul 31, 2017 21:39:58 GMT Odd Republic said:

Granted, but the DMV claims the permit to be counterfeit, and promptly burns it.

I wish that no entity of any sort may corrupt this wish, and that the wish grants me as many incorruptible, binding wishes as I should choose.

Granted - the effects of this wish happen (in their entirety) in another universe, to another Odd, and the energy created by these wishes (when each wish is realized, it creates a particle and corresponding antiparticle - the two collide, and disappear, creating energy) disturbs the energetic balance and makeup of the other universe, which subsequently suffers from immediate heat death.

I wish that Sean Spicer would run for President. Period. 

[Hirematia]

Granted, he drops out of the race just an hour after declaring his candidacy after incessant bullying from Trump.

I wish that no entity, force, or physical law of any sort may corrupt this wish, and that this wish grants the iteration of myself in this universe and only the iteration of myself in this universe as many incorruptible, binding wishes as I should choose.

[Harndon]

Granted, you become crazed with power and rule as a tyrant over the entire universe, bringing misery and death to untold numbers of intelligent beings, until the universe collapses in on itself due to the density being greater than that of the critical density of the universe.

I wish that Bernie Sanders comes to the UK and has a deep bromance with Corbyn

[Odd Republic]

Granted, but a Republican takes Sanders' seat.

I wish that no entity, force, or physical law of any sort may corrupt this wish, and that this wish grants the iteration of myself in this universe and only the iteration of myself in this universe as many incorruptible, binding wishes as I should choose, and I wish under this wish but superseding all others that I shall be good and kind to those upon whom I wish and that the universe shall not be broken in any form or fashion because of my wishes, and that I shall exist in this universe and use my wish.

[Harndon]

Granted. The entire concept of this game is now ruined.

I wish there was a service delivering free cheese

[Hirematia]

Granted, the cheese spoils by the time it makes it to your door.

I wish for tasty, unlimited cheese that never goes bad.

[Courelli]

Granted. The unlimited cheese crushes you and everyone you love, eventually subduing the Earth with cheesy goodness. Everyone Dies.

I wish that I become the immortal, all-knowing, all-powerful dictator of Earth, who may or may not use this power for good. Who knows?

[Auze]

Granted, , however, you are overthrown ( by me), and you have your eyes poked out, your ears, nose , and vocal cords and tongue cut, and you are paralyzed completely. However, you cannot die, and you will feel pain eternally, and never get used to it. Did I mention you cannot fall asleep and your mouth is removed like in the Matrix? You are then placed in a empty universe forever. So, you are blind, deaf, and unable to speak or smell, and can only feel pain, you cannot move, and you must stay this way fully aware of all this, forever.

I wish that this wish isn't granted

[Auze]

I win!!

[Harndon]

In wishing that wish, you have just wished that you wouldn't get a wish, but, as you wished a wish that is actually not a wish (due to the law of negatives), you now have to work out what this message just said.

I wish that I could photosynthesise

[Kanoria]

Granted, however you have no ability to process the sugars made into safer and easier to store chemicals, and thus develop either type two diabetes rapidly, are forced to keep sun exposure very low, or cant stop exercising. Your choice.

I wish to be deprived of this wish.

[Odd Republic]

Granted, the wish disappears, the laws of thermodynamics are broken and the universe implodes.

I wish that Bernie Sanders were the Senate Majority Leader.

[Auze]

granted, he sucks at the job

i wish for a normal, non rotten, banana

[Avaerilon]

Granted; sadly your new banana allergy causes you severe rectal pain.

I wish I was invited to the premier of the next John Wick film.

[New Lettia]

Granted, but you're blind now.

I wish Cortana understood my native tongue.

[Courelli]

Granted: Cortana understands every word you say, but only speaks in Circular Gallifreyan, from BBC's Doctor Who.

I wish that I pass chemistry with a 98%, but don't have to study at all.

[Hirematia]

Granted, you must pay a heavy bribe to your chemistry professor in order to make this happen, making you a slave to your debt for the rest of your life.

I wish that my teachers assigned much less homework.

[New Lettia]

Granted because you never get to go home.

I wish I was a beautiful unicorn with the ability to fly, see & talk.

[Avaerilon]

Granted; you are quickly pursued by the world's most experienced and well-financed big game hunters, while greedy folk attempt to catch you.

I wish I had more time to prepare my next DnD game.

[Courelli]

Granted, you now have roughly one additional second to prepare for your game, and now....... it's gone. Was it productive for you?

I wish that I had a candle that smells like coffee.

[Odd Republic]

Granted, the candle is a fluke and comes without a wick.

I wish that the DPRK would just cease to exist and that the South would annex its territory.

[Hirematia]

Granted, massive political turmoil ensues due to the North's comparatively much lower development, education, wealth, industry, freedom of information, etc. Political turmoil ensues, and Korea's fragile democracy crumbles and gives way to a dictatorship.

I wish that people would stop trolling the SLU.

[New Lettia]

Granted. Though Google's robots are trolling us now.

I wish that everyone is on the political left.

[Hirematia]

Granted, the definition of political left was unclear so everyone now supports Juche and the Kim Dynasty.

I wish for Donald Trump to be impeached for his illegal activities.

[New Lettia]

Granted, but Mike Pence is now president and he manages to be even worse.

I wish that radio stations would only play songs I like.

[Hirematia]

Granted, but it turns out that most people hate your taste in music. They eventually figure out that you were the one who ruined their favorite radio stations, and an angry mob breaks down your door and holds you hostage in your home.

I wish for no more hurricanes.

[Odd Republic]

Granted, they are called typhoons hereafter and your wish has a side effect of forming 20 Category 5 equivalent typhoons in the Atlantic each year, at least 10 of which must make landfall in the US each year at that alternate classification.

I wish for every wish succeeding this wish to not be granted.

[New Lettia]

Granted, though as this sentence is technically also a wish, but no wish shall be a granted wish no more, this sentence becomes a non-wish wish, but still a wish, therefore this is a non-non-wish wish non-wish wish, & therefore this is a non-non-non-wish wish non-wish wish non-non-wish wish non-wish wish & therefore this is a non-non-non-non-wish wish non-wish wish non-non-wish wish non-wish wish non-non-non-wish wish non-wish wish non-non-wish wish non-wish wish & you're dead now.

I wish that Latvia won the FIFA World Cup.