Corrupt A Wish

[Goncar]

Granted but then after 5 minutes of working, it explodes.

I wish I had a car.

[Newhalla]

Granted but all cars are now banned world wide.

I wish i could learn languages in seconds.

[Deleted]

Granted, but then your Language Center explodes... Somehow.

I wish for tree fiddy.

[Deleted]

Granted but it's in Angolan Money :)

I wish for three more wishes.

[Deleted]

Granted, but they're from a Genie

I wish to be Dayman!

[Avaerilon]

Granted, but everyone hates you and you end up committing suicide.

I wish my play was over, already.

[North American Republics]

I'm afraid that tumble-weeds are dry enough already. ;) :P

I wish that I had an unlimited quantity of mango juice.

[Avaerilon]

Granted, but you get diabetes as a result.

I wish the dishwasher would stop beeping.

[Kanoria]

Granted, but only because electricity to your house has been permanently severed.

I wish the world one happy day!

[Deleted]

Granted, but you won't be alive to see that day.

I wish that they find Atlantis, tomorrow.

[Deleted]

Granted, but we have proof Alantis isn't real... Your wish in invalid.

I wish for Obama to step down, making Biden president.

[Avaerilon]

@alterio: no wish is invalid!

@comanici: granted, but in-doing so they release an ancient and deadly plague, killing millions.

@alterio: granted, but everyone falls asleep during his inauguration, making him angry and sending him on a killing spree.

I wish I had an espresso machine.

[Deleted]

Granted, but adds too much creme

I wish to kill all humans.

[Kanoria]

Granted, but in doing so, you are become death. And thus only kill them when it is their time to go, and not as quickly as they multiply.
I wish I was awake, but not too awake.

[North American Republics]

Granted, but you stay awake, but not too awake for days, so you never get any sleep and eventually your body shuts down.

I wish I had all of my Liras back.

[Avaerilon]

Granted, but new members accuse you of being a capitalist and they try to lynch you.

I wish for all my thousands of lira to be returned to me.

[Vernima]

Granted but they come back in Canadian pennies
I wish for free energy for literally everyone

[Chameliya]

Granted, but it's in powdered egg form.

I wish for England to win the World Cup.

[Vernima]

Granted but its the World Cup of Powdered Egg Unpowdering (thats a thing now hush)
I wish for 1 free uncorruptable wish.

[Avaerilon]

Granted; however, since the system for delivering wishes is itself corrupted, you engineer a paradox which causes blood to rain from the skies, eyeballs to appear on peoples' dinner plates, and the very fabric of existence to tear like an old tissue.

I wish Lemsip was quadrupled in both its speed and effectiveness (as I have a wretched case of hayfever).

[Deleted]

Granted, but overdosing on acetaminophen gives you liver damage. I wish I could get free and poison free pizza whenever I wanted.

[Vernima]

Granted except its always the your least favorite flavor and you can never order anything different from anywhere ever.
I wish that Ava loved me </3

[Avaerilon]

Granted; you are now a tall, leggy, beautiful red-headed lady with an interest in Shakespeare, fast cars and Armagnac.

I wish the humidity would drop.

[Anaaxes]

Granted, but the small change in atmospheric pressure causes a hurricane somewhere else in the world, killing thousands of people.

I wish for a warm chocolate chip cookie.

[Goncar]

Granted however the chocolate is not chocolate, but rather another humans solid waste.
I wish that the USA would beat Portugal.

[Chameliya]

Granted but the USA team was then arrested for grievous bodily harm.
I wish the summer never ended.

[Vernima]

Granted but everyone now burts into flames because the Earth moved closer to the sun for this magical eternal summer weather. Nice job.
I wish Congress could agree on something for once.

[Chameliya]

Granted, but they agree on screwing over you (ie. the public).
I wish that I could have a pet rock to keep me company.

[Avaerilon]

Granted; it's a vile, miserable drunkard that eventually passes its bad habits onto you.

I wish for a can of San Pellegrino Limonata.

[Anaaxes]

Granted, but due to poor storage conditions, there's rat droppings all over the cans.

I wish I had diplomatic immunity, so I could get out of traffic tickets.