ANI- Avaerilon News International

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Avaerilon News International
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NATO Formally Ends- CAT Group Ascends
NATO- the former defensive treaty and organisation formed by Avaerilon and North American Republics, with support from associated states, Cemaes and the Francish nations, was formally disbanded on the 29th of September. A quick transition, with a modified treaty and provisional placement of power solely in Lyndainium, has resulted in the birth of the Co-Operative Alliance Treaty, or CAT, to succeed the previous group, albeit without the Council Republic Present.

The treaty came to an end after delegates in NAR agreed to leave the treaty, prompting a rush to foster a successor. Minister of Defence, Robert Campbell, told ANI of the work his department had done.

"We've been working night-and-day, six days a week to ensure we have a solid successor to NATO. It would be potentially devastating for the region if the largest military alliance suddenly disappeared. There was need to have a transition to a new group."

"... we did not need to modify, after careful scrutiny, much of it [the treaty], which made... our job much easier. Even so, we had to contend with the mechanics of moving everyone and everything into Lyndainium HQ, and upgrading the facilities there."

While the Ministry of Defence "hopes of continued warm relations between ourselves and they [NAR]," some analysts have raised concerns that, should a more radical or populist People's Commissar be elected in the Council Republic, relations between Avaerilon and the communist state could sour overnight. Fears include severe diplomatic tensions, trade disputes, and possible war.

Avaerilon Ranked Sixth for Most Tourists in Region
Avaerilon has been ranked 6th in the SLU for "net tourists per hour," according to WA statistics.

Avaerilon overtook Eggy216 to make sixth place, with the recent expansion of national parks, increased international exposure and economic confidence named as reasons for the rise in tourists. It appears the strengthening of the Aub did little to deter holidaymakers, who flocked in the millions to visit Avaerilon this year alone.

Geographer Siali Drandorion welcomed the increase in foreign visitors.
"The people not only buy Avaerilonian produce and goods, but they visit our historical sites, paying for their upkeep, and invigorate our country with parts of their own culture in the short time that they are here. And, of course, everyone brings back at least a but of Brittoneg (Welsh/Cymraeg) with them!"

Civil Servant Alys Jones was less keen on the visitors form abroad.
"While no-one ever seems to bring crime to Avaerilon's shores, we do see some increase in litter, 'flus and other illnesses and legal issues that arise- say if someone was to enter a sacred grove and smoke, or to throw stones at a cat out of boredom."

"There's also a danger of them clogging-up our nicest towns and villages, should they find the bigger cities and countryside wearisome."

Man Accidentally named Winner in Multi-Million Aub Jackpot
A man from Ald-Ruhn, Morrowind, has been made the winner of at least A20 million in a lottery jackpot, despite the fact he never entered.

Sarys Valheli, 52, was sifting-through the post one day to find, to his "great and utter surprise," that there was a cheque for the money in his post.

"By Azura's hair, I never thought I'd live to see it!"

Mr. Valheli told excited press today.

"I phoned up the lottery company and told them I'd been sent a cheque for these winnings- I simply couldn't lie about it. There was some head-scratching on the other end, when someone told me there'd been no run, and I'd just 'accidentally been sent' the money out of hand."

A spokesman for Loteri Pot Fawr told ANI that "the computer had acted on its own accord" and that "we will not be chasing-up the money."
"It looks like the gods favoured Mr. Valheli that day. Well, as a worshipper of Boethia, I won't argue with that."

Meanwhile, fans of the sci-fi action film The Terminator claimed Skynet had "begun testing itself on this one machine" and "we'll be sent arsenic in the post by them before you know it!"

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When Friends go to War- Fears for Region's Stability as NAR wages war on CAT and Azerzia.
There were grave fears today across the region that SLU stability is in serious jeopardy, with North American Republics stalwart in its desire to conquer both Avaerilon and Logres.

In a bizarre turn of events, the Council Republic declared war on the state of Logres, a peaceful island nation to the North-East of Avaerilon, in what appears to have been a deliberate ploy to draw the latter into war.

The once iron-clad relationship between the two states, "united in our differences," has descended into a series of vengeful exchanges, bold threats and all-out war. NARan troops are currently trying to penetrate CAT-held lines outside of the city of Brest in Logres, with ample support for CAT from Azerzian and Belgo-Luxembourgian soldiers. RAAF Vulcans have been discharging EMP devices to allay fear of artillery strikes, but more equipment from Pont de Roche appears to be on its way.

"We may have to take evasive action on this matter," Brigadier Michael O'Laughly told journalists at a news conference in Caer, in Cymru, Logres.

"The combined forces of CAT are more than a match for NARan numbers. However, they have installed complex air defences on their island, along with sophisticated naval systems on the coast. Even flying a Valiant over the island could prove disastrous, though one Blue Steel missile in New New York would practically end the war there and then."

The government made moves to assure the public that invasion was 'a lightyear away' and Avaerilon has 'the best defences against any such force.'

Meanwhile, the fate of the former People's Commissar Bryan is as of yet unknown. Some sources speculate he has been executed by the regime in NAR, while others suggest he remains captive. A rumour that Avaerilon aided his escape from a gulag with a pizza delivery was thrown out-of the rumour mill, but lapped-up in numerous pubs and taverns across Avaerilon.

DNP Suspended from Parliament Following Accusations of Support for Republican Terrorist Group
The socialist Dunaemair National Party, which aims to break the Gaelic nation away from the Kingdom,has had all of its federal and devolved MPs suspended, and its offices across the nation shut, following revelations that some of its members support the terrorist group Saighdiúirí na Saoirse.

The group, whose name means "Soldiers of Freedom" in Irish, is a Marxist-Leninist, republican organisation, aiming to use violence to enable Dunaemarish secession. It has recently declared its support of the CRNAR, and has vowed to "assist them in any way they need against the Welsh and Elven masters that oppress the masses."

Police have already arrested several senior figures in the DNP, including MP Lisa MacNamara, infamous for calling the Dunmer script "a waste of time and to be confined to the scrapheap of history."

Snap elections, to be conducted via AV, will be held in the meantime to allow full-representation for those people affected by the measure. A straw poll conducted today found support for the party at an all-time low, at under 3% in parts. The Social Democrats are expected to benefit from these measures.

"This isn't funny anymore!" Campaign to End Traditional "Third and Funny" Section in Newsletters takes off.
A campaign to make the much-loved practice of inserting a funny passage at the end of a 3-section newsletter is underway in the small village of Twllyngnghanolunman, north Fereldan.

Local priest Helen Howell expressed disbelief at the suggestion.

"The village paper's always had a funny bit on it- rather like my boyfriend, actually. He once- what? Oh the ninnies from the 'we have no sense of humour bloc?' Oh, they're a bunch of fools. I'll give them two weeks before someone throws a custard pie at their local HQ."

The group, Campaign to Make News More Serious and Moral, refused to talk to ANI, commenting only that "we feel they'd shove us in the third section, as if we're some sort of sad, soppy joke."

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"You have two minutes to evacuate the street." Police "saved dozens of lives" as SNS Detonate Bomb in Bailegnonc.
Officers from the Royal Police of Dunaemair (Heddlu Frenhinol Dynaleddon, Gardaí Ríoga na Dunaemair) have been praised for their "courageous, qucik-thinking and selfless" actions, after receiving a coded telephone call from the terrorist group SNS, which told police a bomb had been planted in the middle of Sráid Leathan, Bailegnoc.

The 25-kg device, made with Semtex and "complex components," was left in a litter bin down the popular shopping street, known for being as wide as the Champs Elysées. Police received the call, made from a public payphone in the nearby fishing-village of Cois Fholaimh, at 1246, right in the midst of the busiest period of the day. With two minutes to do something, officers urged people to leave the buildings 100m around the bins, or to seek refuge in the backs of buildings.

Two minutes later, windows were shattered and trees blown-over by a catastrophic blast. Thankfully, no-one was injured.

Speaking at a press conference in the town today, the Minister of Internal Affairs praised the valour of the policemen.
"It was their courage, and undying honour, that saved countless lives today. I want to thank each and every one of them for their brave efforts, and they will see commendations made by the end of the day. All of these men are heroes, pure and simple."

Scared and flustered shoppers screamed and cried at the sound of the blast. However, nobody was injured. Witnesses described the police as "professional and courteous, but certainly commanding and firm when needs be." Hairdresser Marged McConn told ANI:
"I'd certainly trust to follow anything these boys said. They did just what they needed to."

Meanwhile, army bomb experts have been examining the remains of the device. A statement realised today on their website described "suspicion that some of the materials came from the Council Republic [of North American Republics]."

Foreign-Authored Books now Tax-Free, after Bill Succeeds in Commons
All books sold in Avaerilon will no longer be subject to the 5% VAT tax, after a private member's bill in Parliament, which included books originating from outside Avaerilon in tax-exemption, was carried by the Commons.

Liberal MP Tarvos Sanhalian, from Morrowind, asked the House to "show our devotion as a country to freedom of learning and our love of literature." The free vote garnered support of around 85%, with a small number of Conservative MPs voting against.

Social Democrat Lysa Haf said the measure was a "triumph" for Avaerilon, and "writers across the world."

A number of items are exempt from value added tax (VAT) in Avaerilon, including fruit, vegetables, fish, children's clothes, cameras, pens, pencils, paper, animal feed and now books.

Man Awakes from 12-Year Coma, Believing he is Abraham Lincoln
A 52-year old man, who fell-into a coma twelve years ago, has awoken in full-health, but under the belief that he is the famously-assassinated US president Abraham Lincoln.

Carlo Talybont, from Cefylcarreg, Fereldan, was astounded to find "talking pictures, men who spoke a foreign tongue, and female nurses with very short (knee-high) dresses."

Speaking only English with an American accent, Mr. Talybont reacted ferociously to claims "he was a former decorator from Fereldan."

"I've never even heard of the damn place! They claim that we have dragons flying about, here! Pathetic! Next they'll be telling me we put a man on the moon!"

Doctors and psychiatrists said "they would do everything in their power" to convince Mr. Talybont he "is not, never has been, and never will be Abraham Lincoln."

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V-Force on Standby Following Upgraded Threat Level
The FALA Ffors-V is officially on-standby to deploy EMP devices both defensively and offensives, following a GTA report which puts the threat level to the civilian population from NARan aggression as "significant."

The force employs three different kinds of bomber craft; the Valiant, which is designed for stealth missions; the Victor, a large and versatile aeroplane; and the famous Vulcan, which is designed to fly fast and strike faster.

Avaerilon is a nuclear-free zone, and since the 1950s has relied on EMP devices, now mostly powered via plasma, to defend itself from nuclear devices and other powerful missiles. EMPs can also be used to disrupt enemy communications and destroy microprocessors.

Wing Commander Ilera Darvehuli told ANI she was "aware that our elite peers in the V-Force are ready to fly-in at any given notice. I hear they're on long shifts, and never leave the bases."

While the government has a policy of keeping the public informed of numerous activities lesser democracies may hide, they have been reluctant to give details greater than this.

"We have a duty to common sense, here," Said a civil servant.

"The last thing we need are pilots at-risk from enemy forces in this nation."

Snap Elections in Dunaemair- DNP Reduced to Token 2 Independent Elected Members
Snap elections for both the devolved Dunaemairish parliament and for the House of Commons have concluded, with the DNP now reduced to having only one elected member in each parliament.

The DNP, which has been suspended as a party following its links to the terrorist group SNS, believed to be funded by the government of NAR, saw support drop to an all-time low of 2.3% overall. While support for independence in the northern kingdom is steady at around 20%, nationalists clearly have no desire to support those linked to terrorist activities and warmongering regimes.

Scott McMahon left the party to stand as an independent, damning the DNP as "having allowed itself to be infiltrated by murderous individuals." He was elected to the Commons, with 56% of the first-preference votes. Elain O'Laughlinn retained her place in the devolved parliament, with 62.3% of the vote, having followed Mr. McMahon is his example. "The awful truth has set the desire for our total self-governance at an all-time low. The men and women who put violence and greed above socialism and freedom shame us all."

Meanwhile, it was a happier tale for the Social Democrats, who have bounced-back from relatively low spots in the opinion polls to claim a bigger share of Dunaemairish votes than before. Candidates distanced themselves from the pro-authoritarian, "traditionalist" wing of the party, running on libertarian civil positions and social justice. Overall, the party won most of the seats up for election, with the Liberals taking a modest number as well. The two parties currently govern in a coalition in Dunaemair.

The Liberals made gains in areas their northern candidates are traditionally strong- particularly the highland areas and some of the outer isles.

Man Climbs Tall Tree for Dare; Can't Climb Down
A 32-year old Arnalorian man is trapped up a 235-foot high goldenbranch tree in eastern Arnalor; unable to climb to the top, but unable to lower himself.

Elrond Indolin was attempting to beat the current world-record for tree-climbing, when he found himself unable to reach the branches further up. He soon realised the way back down was impossible.

Rescuers have been unable to get to him, since he is deep within the thick canopy. He has, however, maintained contact via radio.

"I'm really, REALLY cold up here. And hungry- these damn berries can't keep a grown man going. Oh gods, I feel such a fool."

Local fireman Alris Envar told news media that the situation was "difficult."

"Hopefully he won't be stuck up there too long and have a funny song written about him."

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BREAKING NEWS: Avaerilon confirms Montevittoria as TAD (Avaerilonian Overseas Territory)

The former Republic of Montevittoria, a state founded by settlers from Avaerilon and Italy, has opted to become an overseas territory of the I.N. Kingdom, following a vote in the country's parliament and a popular referendum.

A view of Valetino, the capital city

The state, which has met some obstacles in retaining its current public-spending programme, has a long history of co-operation and shared culture with Avaerilon, or "Avirolona" in Vittoraeli. A motion by the Popular Democratic Alliance, the current centre-left opposition, was accepted by the nation's parliament in Valetino. A referendum for citizens aged 16 and upwards was conducted over the course of a week, after Avaerilon said "it would happily oblige the people of Montevittoria, should they wish to join with us."

61.3% of people voted for the measure; 30.5% voted against, and the remaining 8.2% "did not mind."

In a speech today in the new AOT's capital of Valetino, HMRM the King confirmed the state as "being part of our great nation," and anointed the parliament building, before opening the first session. AOT's have near-identical powers to the devolved parliaments of Avaerilon, and are able to govern much on their own. The first issue debated in the new parliament was when the hold new elections.

Speaking in-favour of the move was former President and current Governor Hugo de Galli.

"We are a country which takes much pride in giving all citizens a free healthcare system, an excellent education and chance to be what they want to be. We have found it increasingly difficult to do sowith our limited resources, but our new membership of the Avaerilonian state will surely allow us to go places we have never been."

Against the idea was the deputy-leader of the centre-right Popular National Coalition.

"Avaerilon is a good friend to us, but need we really join their family? Sure, we are half-Celt already, and our language is not too distant to theirs, but we can and should go it alone. Already they move their ships and aircraft here. With the NARan-CAT war ragin right now, this makes us a target."

His Majesty was greeted by a swarm of Montevittorian well-wishers and fans. Some of the mass had "voted 'no,'" but came to pay their respects to their new monarch, who already enjoys a solid 91.2% approval-rating in the state.

His Majesty has opted to make the 12th Century Villa Auditore his official residence, in the second-city of Firoino.

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On the Defence- Avaerilon and Castle Brennenburg Sign Military Treaty
The Incredibly Nice Kingdom has signed a formal military treaty with the Fiefdom of Castle Brennenburg (Castell Brennenbryn), furtherer widening military relations with various states.

The move comes amid a stagnant war between the CAT alliance and its associates against the CRNAR, which is attempting an invasion of Logres and sponsoring terrorism against the people of Avaerilon. Castle Brennenburg, located in the east of the SLU, joined less than a week ago. While notably committed to small government, ample public services and freedoms, it has a sizeable and well-equipped military.

"Avaerilon and Brennenburg treasure the freedoms of humankind, and we together will ensure we can defend our peoples' freedom thus."
Said Baron Alexander of Castle Brennenburg. Extra-Castle Affairs Minister and Secretary of Wardrobes, Light Sources and Hiding Daniel added his approval.
"This will definitely boost our standing in the SLU, to be allied to such an influential ad respected nation as Avaerilon. They also have plenty of lamp oil, which is always something we need more of. Now, please excuse me, I heard a groan and have to hide in the cupboard 'till I regain my sanity."

The Shadow, the entity with the most power in the nation, was unavailable for comment.

It is possible that the nation may well become a member of CAT in the near future.

DNP's Future Looking Grim as Splinter Party Takes Centre-Stage
The beleaguered Dunaemair National Party, currently maintaining voluntary suspension, has been rocked by the emergence of a major split.

Affiliated with elements of the terrorist republican movement SNS, the DNP has seen its popularity plummet. Once looking to become the third party of the northern isles, revelations about its relationship with both the SNS and CRNAR saw nationalist support wither.

A new, less radical, less authoritarian and less secessionist party has formed in the vaccum; the People's Party of Dunaemair.
"Of course, our ultimate future goal is to see Dunaemair stand completely on its own two feet, but that won't be for a good while,"
Said leader Sinead McCorma.
"There is no reason to refuse to work with the federal government; the PPD will focus on the needs of our voters, rather than the demands and dreams of out-of-touch Marxists and violent nationalists."

The Social Democrats made significant gains in snap Dunaemairan Parliament elections, with the Liberals making new inroads. The two contine to govern as a coalition in the devolved parliament. Meanwhile, the only two elected DNP-affiliates have expressed "support and hope" in the new PPD party.

King Believed to be Food-Poisoned- Doctors Fight to Treat His Royal Self
His Most Royal Majesty the King is believed to be a victim of mild food-poisoning, following revelations that "I might have under-done my French toast a bit."

Complaining of a sore throat,mild fever and severe nausea, His Majesty received over 20,000 phone-calls from expert doctors nationwide, and form AOTs as well.

"Out of my way! I have stomach medicine! I will treat His Majesty!" Cried numerous doctors, bumbling their way up the tiers of Avalon.

However, they were turned away from Castell y Draig when His Majesty claimed:

"A crowd of doctors? Please, I can deal with this myself."

The medical men and women remain sad and confused.

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"Project Sonic Hedgehog" Defence System Unveiled- Critics Attack Costs
The government has today formally announced the implementation of a sonic wave and laser defence system to protect Avaerilon from aerial attack and EMPs, after weeks of speculation.

Under parliamentary rules, the Ministry of Defence had to state that "significant defence additons were being considered and possibly implemented, using non-lethal measures," upon receiving the grant of "temporary security" from the Royal Court until the formal unveiling, which hid key details of the project until now.

The system, which cost A2.5 billion, had been a pipe dream until the Council Republic successfully tested an ICBM capable of housing an EMP. The missiles have the capability to reach Avaerilon, should they be able to penetrate previous defences. However, it was agreedby an all-party consesnus that an upgrade to national security would be required, with the Royal Court agreeing to release emergency funds for defence.

The system, which uses laser and sonic wave-emitting dishes in several points across the country, is essentially able to place a net over Avaerilon, which devreases the possibility of a successful strike "by a further 65%," independent scientists have alleged.

However, criticism has been levelled at the sheer cost of the project. Avaerilon spends less than half a percent of the yearly budget on defence, and this project willmean the government will either have to raise that percentage, or spend little else on defence matters this year.

"Why should the King have to release these funds now? Is the V-Force and the navy not capable of defending us from NARan EMPs? As Morrowind would likely be the first point of attack, being the furthest east, I am especially concerned."

Stated RNP politican Davos Divleni.

Adding criticism was noted pacifist Sian Howell, who accused the government of "putting war before diplomacy."

The government, along with a general corss-party consensus from the four largest parties, responded by saying "we are committed to diplomacy, but the threat from the CRNAR is very real and words alone won't stop microchips being blown-apart in an instant and us becoming much more vulnerable to invasion. They have a sophisticated system, from what we gathered, and obviously we need a defence of a high-enough standard to meet their advances in missile technology."

Government "seriously considering" Free Public Transport
The government is taking a consultation on whether it should put-forward a motion to introduce free public transport in certain circumstances.

Public-sector workers living in 10 major urban areas already recieve free bus, tram and city train passes, but the motion would "extend free travel to people who live a certain distance from their work in urban areas, and people who live in isolated rural reas."

Visitors to Avaerilon would have to pay a small amount to use the system, along with exempt citizens. The government says it is not consideirng totally-free travel for all citizens "for the moment," but has suggested it might in the near-future.

Social Democrats voiced their support for the motion, along with Resdayn Nationalists. The Conservatives have stated their opposition, although a few MPs have expressed support. Centrists remain undecided, although their leadership has categorically stated "we will have to vote 'nay' should totally-free public trnasport go ahead."

Horror Film Fan-Club Buys Tickets to Romantic Period Drama Film; Return as Fans of Jane Austen
A once stalwhart group of horror film fans has renamed itself "The Darcy Dearies," after mistakenly purchasing tickets to see Pride and Prejudice in a cinema.

The "Blood 'n' Guts SurviveFest Group," known for their black t-shirts and adoration of Christopher Lee, believed they were going to see "Dracula and Freddie Kruger VS O.J. Simpson at Blood, Bath and Beyond 3," one of the year's most popular films.

"Someone, probably you, Geoff, pressed the wrong button, didn't read the tickets and we walked into... paradise!"
Told Malcolm McDonnel.
"I can't believe I haven't seen or read any of Ms. Austen's works before!"

Geoff, 23, had his own opinion.

"Hey, someone accidentally nudged me, and screwed it up. But I didn't read the tickets 'cos I was tired. And this new group sucks. I'm leaving to start a new one... er, do you want to join?"

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The Phoney War- Bogged-Down and Stagnant, will the CAT-NAR Conflict Heat-Up or Die?
It has been some time since readers have seen any major reports of intense fighting, governments announcing new campaign strategies, or the usual xenophobic propaganda that the state-controlled NARan media forces-upon the world. What, this news company wishes to ask the governments of the SLU, is actually happening with the conflict?

It seems any push made on the edges of Logres is pushed-back, and so far subterfuge by either party has failed to bear any fruit as of now. The SNS, which staged a few bombing attempts, has been quiet, and its website devoid of activity. Even some soldiers have written back, from both sides of the war, to say that they haven't heard a gun-shot in weeks.

So what does this mean for the SLU? Is some grand strategy about to be implemented and the war gear-up a notch? Quite possibly. With the Council Republic recently breaking new scientific ground in missile technology, and the Magnificent Kingdom building a defence-network the envy of states with military budgets double the size, ultimate attack and ultimate defence may well test themselves against each other. A North American EMP could cause Avaerilon to be unable to mount a major operation for weeks, as well as cause the government horrendous embarrassment, and it opens-up the possibility of a communist invasion. On the other hand, the Avaerilonian laser and sonic defences could send the missile elsewhere and make a mockery of an obviously expensive programme, and give the military new vigour in its ambitions to expel unwelcome forces.

We have heard of NARan naval movements, and Avaerilon supposedly setting-up a counter, but these things have yet to actually come to a head.

Will, then, this war come to a close? If so, NAR will surely have to swallow some sort of diktat. Withdrawing from Logres, reparations and a demilitarisation of Pont de Roche are likely, with concessions probably including a token force in Montevittoria and an agreement to respect the NARan government as legitimate.

Early Polls Indicate Current Government Could Increase Majority in 2015
The Gladstyn administration, which won an unprecedented majority in the Commons, and secured governing positions in all four devolved parliaments this year, looks set to increase its share of the national vote in the elections for Parliament in 2015, with current public opinion "rewarding" the current government.

The Liberals hold a relatively safe majority at the present, but could see STV returns of around 62-65%, if current opinion polls were replicated in three years' time. The Social-Democrats are still in a crisis of identity, with committed moderates and democratic socialists trying to kill-off the authoritarian, militant faction that persists. The new PPD will likely gain no more than 3% of the vote, as will the RNP. Tory hopes are muted, with a grim outlook for the Conservatives. Only the Centrists look set to have good fortunes, and they are considered to be "sensible liberals" in most circles, so will likely support most government policies.

As for the devolved parliaments, Fereldan never has had any other governing party than the Liberals, and is considered so safe that no casino will hold sweepstakes on election results. Morrowind is enjoying a small Liberal surge, with the Centrists the largest party. It could even be that the Liberals will gain second-party status in the traditionally conservative isle. Arnalor is favourable again, and Dunaemairan Social Democrats are said "to only consider the Liberal part as a potential partner in a coalition, due to a relatively similar vision for helping our people."

In AOTs, Liberal-type parties are equally popular. This could well be the start of a golden-era for the yellow-ties in Avaerilonian politics, and a repeat of the 1960s and 1980s, which are fondly-remembered by Liberals around the world, for although they were troublesome decades in numerous countries, Avaerilon represented a dream for the liberal left across the world.

"Anyone moves and the cake gets it!" Stand-Off in Local Diner brings Crack Police Team and Scores of Onlookers
A man armed with a rather large desert spoon has locked and barricaded himself within a popular roadside-diner in Arnalor, prompting concerns for the safety of several important puddings and desserts.

"I was working my shift, slicing bananas and piping custard, when the manager ran in and yelled 'get out,'" tells 25 year-old Arnold Baskweather.
"Someone said something about a large, upset man with a big spoon. I thought: 'this is it!'"

Police dispatched several vans filled with expert officers, dogs, a negotiator and also a crack-team of firearms officers.

"If we get the order, we will shoot to scare him and make him drop his spoon,"
Said Officer X, who wished to remain anonymous.
"That's why we put snap-crackle-pop rounds in the guns."

Reporters have been told "an important display cake" may have already been eaten. Numerous patisseriers have been offered counselling.

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Attempted Bombing Foiled; Security Services on the Alert
GTA, the overseas security service of Avaerilon, has foiled a plot by the terrorist group SNS to bomb a busy train station, prompting the police, armed forces and all 3 intelligence services to "standby on amber alert."

SNS, the radical-socialist and Dunaemarian republican group, responsible for several attempted but foiled bombings, admitted that it had "been the victim of a sinister operation by the federal royalist GTA on foreign soil."

Past the propaganda, SNS revealed supposed members were undercover operatives of significant rank, who had built a bomb which went off in the midst of a boat being used by the terrorists.

"GTA, on behalf of His Most Royal Majesty, can confirm that, within the limits of international waters, Avaerilonian operatives detonated a device built by SNS, which was to be used against a civilian target. Plots to bomb a major train station were being discussed; casualties could have numbered thousands. The operatives jumped overboard, and activated the rigged device, killing all the terrorists and severely damaging the boat."

As per usual, a full documentation of the operation is available for the public to view, although the names of operatives are withheld.

North American Republics is accused of funding the organisation. It has neither admitted or denied this to date.

Conservatives Admit Low Hopes for 2015
The Conservative leadership has admitted that it does not believe the party will gain any seats in the federal Parliament, in an interview with ANI.

The centre-right party has seen membership and poll-ratings fall since it failed to retain control of the Morrowish parliament. Much of its support has gone to the Centrists, and some more Conservative members have left for the nationalist RNP. Currently, the Centrists govern as the senior partner in a coalition with the Liberals.

Poll ratings for the federal Parliament suggest a small Liberal surge, allowing the government to stay in-power for another 5 years. The Centrists and Social Democrats look set to gain support as well, while nationalists from Dunaemair and Morrowind look set to suffer with the Tories.

Man Builds House Upside-Down, Sues Instruction Manual Printer
A Dunaemairan man who built his home roof-upwards is taking the publishers of the instruction manual he used to court.

Donald MacConn, 42, used Funny Mike's Crazy Clown Buildings for the Public Guide to build his 3-bedroom wooden house, but "didn't realise" he was building the house "the wrong way-up."

Funny Mike's stated "the manual was meant for people who wanted to entertain others, not live in some crazy house," and are contesting the case.

Local media reports "mass faceipalming" and refusals to speak to Mr. MacConn my neighbours.

[Avaerilon]

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A National Appalled- SNS Ambushes Army Lorry; 27 Men Killed

The nation of Avaerilon went-into shock today, as for the first time in centuries, a massacre occurred on Avaerilonian soil, with 27 soldiers from the 3rd Anc-Myrloch Regiment being killed in a hail of bullets while being transported in an army lorry. The soldiers were on their way to a training exercise in eastern Dunaemair, when a group of 7 masked individuals, armed with automatic weapons, opened fire on the vehicle. 27 of the men died within minutes, many instantly, while 13 survived. All but three had severe bullet wounds.

Thankfully, an army MedVac Myrddin was in the air at the time for tests, and the pilot saw the carnage unfold before him. He rushed down with his two paramedics on-board, who pronounced the 27 dead at the scene, but managed to take the 13 injured aboard. They were flown to the nearby army base for surgery, while the helicopter made a grim trip back to collect the dead and examine the scene. Unfortunately, the terrorists managed to escape.

"We had no doubt it was SNS who perpetrated this grave crime," said Major Aled Gryffyn, between choking-back tears of rage and sadness.
"When we got the coded calla and saw the broadcast, we got formal confirmation."

SNS transmitted a news broadcast via NA24, the popular news channel. In it, a masked man dressed in combat fatigues and a black balaclava stated:

"The free people of Dunaemair have spoken. These men were in the army, and thus oppressing our land. They were Fereldonian, and therefore the violating invaders who have committed a cultural genocide on Dunaemairan soil. 5 brothers and two sisters volunteered to demonstrate we will fight to the end for our freedom."

The soldiers were targeted based on their Fereldonian backgrounds and military service in the regiment.

The public across Avaerilon and its territories was in a stunned stupor when the news broke-out this morning.

"It hasn't been since the 1500s something like this happened!"
Said Meleri Temnavael, 42.
"How on earth could decent- no, they weren't decent. They weren't anything at all. These people have stained the name of Dunaemair, and shattered the innocence of Avaerilon."

His Majesty the King appeared on numerous public broadcasts to announce the news "with the heaviest and most distraught of hearts," and promised "the police and military police will, with our intelligence services, hunt-down these wretched murderers and place their vile selves before a court, to sit justice for their crimes. My only hope is these 5 men and 2 women are incarcerated for life, so they may meditate on the pain and suffering they have caused."

The Royal Watch said they "had several promising leads," and that "we hope to arrest the criminals within two weeks, hopefully sooner."

The public has come-out in a show of support for the families of the bereaved, notably in the capital of Dunaemair, Dynedin, where anti-SNS and anti-nationalist banners were waved in a protest against the killings. PPD leader Sinead McCorma took to an anti-SNS rally to denounce the killings of "good and innocent young men," ad vowed that "the PPD will support whatever action against these barbarians the goverment decides to take."

North American Republics continues to be accused of supplying the group. The weapons used were military-grade ones the militias of the Council Republic are known to have, and the military fatigues modified versions of CRNAR uniform. No response from the NARan government has come to light.

[Avaerilon]

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GOTCHA

Joint Royal Watch and Royal Military Police Capture of SNS Terrorists Responsible for Massacre

The 5 men and 2 women believed to have committed the murders of 27 men in the 3rd Anc-Myloch Regiment last week have been apprehended following a daring raid on a house in Balnaclar in Dynaemair.

The men were gunned-down while inside a transport lorry, targeted for being Fereldonian. SNS, which aims to gain Dunaemairan independence and "propagate a workers' state for the free people," claimed responsibility via a television broadcast.

However, a well-manned operation got the better of them, after an in-depth investigation and two anonymous tip-offs led to a small house in Balnaclar. Watchmen and RMP service personnel arrested the individuals after an "almost instantaneous" fire-fight, in which one of the SNS members was shot in the knee. 25kg of military-grade semtex was recovered, along with detonators, automatic weapons and numerous coded documents.

Inspector Bran McFaoil, the appointed-head of Operation Angel, the investigation to arrest the terrorists, told a crowd of domestic and foreign journalists that "we have been greatly successful in our efforts to arrest these murderous individuals."

"After a thorough investigation, we had a very good idea of where they might be, who they might be, and when we would find them. After two individuals, from where I do not know, tipped us off, we knew what sort of weapons they had."

Police have suggested the tip came from members of SNS who had "suddenly gained clarity" and were "distressed at the bloody violence," as well as "not wanting to associate themselves with a NARan-funded group.

Under Avaerilonian law, the suspects will receive a civilian trial in a public court, likely Dynedin Crown Court. They could receive life imprisonment in the high-security Castell Du gaol; one of Avaerilon's 2 prisons. They would be the only inmates in this crime-free nation.

His Majesty the King applauded the "heroic efforts of the men and women in the Watch and RMP," and suggested "there would be medals and honours for the best."

Jonathan Siol, whose husband Marc ap Thomos perished in the attack, said "he was eternally grateful to those who captured these barbarians. Though my husband's body may be dead, his spirit lives on, stronger for the serving of justice."

No comment from either SNS, or the Council Republic (accused of funding them) has been made.

[Avaerilon]

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"We took a step back, so we can take two forward" says Commander of Avaerilonian Forces in Logres
The commander of Avaerilonian forces in Logres, General Dafydd Rhyfelwr, has said that, despite CAT forces being pushed-back in a daring assault by North American Republic's troops, CAT will be able to advance and expel the invading troops from Logresian soil.

Although the CAT defenders managed to destroy all the deployed vehicles, heavy guns and aircraft that the Council Republic sent-in to the forward defensive line, the sheer number of enemy troops overwhelmed the defenders, who retreated. Questions were asked of the Ministry of Defence, as to the need for more soldiers at the front. The Minister apologies, stating that "we have learned a great deal from our mistake, which we will not repeat."

General Rhyfelwr, an internationally-renowned tactician, stated "our current position in the hills means we can easily fire-upon advancing enemies. We have also been bolstered by enough troops to meet the numbers we will likely face."

The general also noted that the current "stagnation" of the naval situation between the Council Republic and Avaerilon would eventually come to a head, but "due to superior Avaerilonian technology and numbers," victory would be certain.

Currently, the air force has refused to mount raids over both Pont de Roche and NAR itself due to concerns over a high-tech air-defence system employed in both places.

His Majesty's Birthday Celebrations Named "Success of the Year"
The birthday celebrations on Sunday for the birthday of His Majesty the King have been applauded by scores of people, following the scale of the celebrations.

A monarch's birthday is treated as a national holiday, with Avaerilonians joining their neighbours and fellow citizens in nationwide feasts, games and cultural activities; all while wearing the revered national costume.

This year's was especially popular, following an announcement from the king that His Royal Self would host a lunchtime feast in Castell y Ddraig itself for the people of Avalon to take part in. Around 2,430 people feasted with the King, in a rare honour.

"I had 3 kinds of game fowl,salmon, pies, sausages, and enough beer to kill a German," said 42 year-old father of two Marcys Garis.
"We ate so well, and had a fantastic time. His Majesty told a whole load of hilarious jokes, and even poured me a glass of beer- you don't get that from snooty kings elsewhere, do you?"

The largest feast was held in Lundainium, where around half the city's 1,250,000-or-so people gathered in the streets to eat, drink, and sing together. Later in the day, bards performed songs, poems and stories free of charge in taverns and at the street feasts. The day ended with jousts, afternoon tea and bowling competitions. As well as that, His Majesty the King challenged Lord Vetinari himself to a game of pool.

Pool champion Sean O'Machibhill spoke about the match.
"His Majesty made a good break, but the Patrician recovered after His Majesty potted 3 in-a-row to level the score. That last ball- the black- was on the table for 10 minutes! I wouldn't want to play against either men, Ic can tell you."

His Majesty narrowly won the game, which is believed to have been valued at A25 million in terms of bets placed on it nationwide. Around double the amount was bet-on by expatriates and by people of other nations.

Dog, Spotty, named Co-Defendant in Corporate Espionage Trial
A dark and murky trial into the alleged corporate espionage claim by WagCo against Cwn Hapus ltd., two of Avaerilon's largest dog-treat manufacturers, has entered a shocking new phase, with a four-year-old dachshund, Spotty, being named a co-defendant.

Cwn Hapus is alleged to have placed canine spies within WagCo to "undermine and sabotage" development of new recipes. Spotty, 4, has denied any part in the matter.

"Woof, *whine*, *whine*, *sad look*"

His owner, a Herbert A. Anchovy, told ANI "Spotty's a good boy. Yes he is. No matter what those WagCo fools think!"

[Avaerilon]

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Peace? NAR offers Pont de Roche and reparations in-exchange for "investment."

The NARan and Avaerilonian governments are currently working-out a pace treaty, in view of the recent war between the CAT alliance and the communist state. After invading Logres on the pretext of "liberation," the NARan government is keen to end the recent violence between itself and its neighbours. Offering the overseas territory of Pont de Roche to Logres, the main victim of the war, along with reparations, its government is emphasising its position as "giving more receiving less." However, the Avaerilonian government has been wary over NARan demands to invest in Avaerilonian businesses.

The government has said "talks are going well," but stated it was "looking for more information" over the investment plans.

"Like anyone given the offer of investment, we want to know where it's going to go, and how it will affect us all," said a foreign-ministry official, who asked not to be named.

Reaction nationwide to the NARan demands has been mixed.

"Why not?" Said Ffleur haf Dwelin. "Even if the money is designed to go on propaganda and undermining the country, will it actually affect the well-educated people who make-up this country? No. I can only see it helping small businesses, and the North Americans realising that it won't do much other than bolster trade."

Iasper Marc Tomos, though, was less optimistic.

"When they realise that working men and women aren't potential communists, and nobody wants to forsake our proud democratic traditions, it's going to cause another bloody war."

Analyst Sionead McMahona gave us her expert view of the current situation. "

"It's give some, take some. North America is willing to lose a foothold in the area, and pay-back damages, but wants more economic room in Avaerilon. In a nation with high wages, they're going to have to invest a lot. By doing so, they will probably earn more sympathy, although no Avaerilonian will try to bomb a government office because of it."

Government announces powerful "Tectonic Bomb" in press-conference.

Brigadier Robert Campbell, Minister of Defence, has announced the development of a sonic-device to be used a a weapon, after years of research.

While technical details are secret, the minister confirmed the bomb's ability to "cause tsunamis" and "undermine the tectonic base of an area to generate massive earthquakes." The minister said the weapon would be carried by V-Force craft, such as the Victor, and used in situations involving a high enemy concentration in a low-civilian area. He also said nations with a coastline would be vulnerable to large tsunamis the bomb has the power to generate.

Asked whether, if a peace deal was not fostered between Avaerilon and North American Republics, the bomb should be used in the current situation, the minister replied "a tactical advantage is obvious." No other nation is believed to have developed a purely sonic device with the capability to cause tectonic activity on the same scale.

Trouser thief caught with his trousers down in crack case

A notorious trouser thief, who pilfered A1,200 worth of clothing, has been caught after a monumental police operation to find him.

Marc Glen, 34, had broke-into homes and stolen pairs of jeans, often while the occupants were sleeping. However, police were able to anticipate his actions when a local figure in the village of Milddyn Fal boasted his "new pair of enormous and ridiculous trousers."

Police caught the man trying the trousers on in the bathroom of the local man's house.

"We could see everything, then." Said Constable Lewis.

[Avaerilon]

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BREAKING NEWS: Luxembourg-Belgium anointed as constituent kingdom of Avaerilon following vote

The former sovereign-state of Luxembourg-Belgium has become the newest constituent kingdom of Avaerilon, after a government-backed referendum confirmed the will of the populace to become part of Avaerilon. It joins the state of Montevittoria as being a new addition to the Magnificent Kingdom, as an Overseas Kingdom. The Crown Prince Henri ven d'Azais signed the document of abdication, while HMRM King Aubrey the Dragonheart signed the new Royal Charter of Avaerilon to include the state. The former prince has been made Marquess of Arlon, following his approval in the Royal Court.

The country was gripped in a political void for some months, with rising concerns about the environment and international standing of Luxembourg-Belgium fuelling the problem. However, the then-government, lead by the Liberal-Green Alliance, began talks with Avaerilon over increased co-operation and the possibility of joining the state. A referendum was held last week, which say some 67.8% of the population vote in-favour of the inclusion into Avaerilon. The result is binding for 5 years; after which the population will have a second referendum to confirm the will of the populace. Should voters disapprove of being part of Avaerilon then, their country will exit the Magnificent Kingdom.

"Avaerilon, she is a strong, international state, with a solid reputation. One can imagine this can only mean we will share in that," said Marie Delacroix, 21, a voter in the referendum.
"In five years time? More people will say 'yes.'"

Ecologist Franz Hergoelettijke also voiced his approval.
"As part of a country with a stable economy and political system, we can be focussed on ensuring we have one of the best natural environments in the world, with a carbon-neutral status; perhaps even better. Avaerilon is a nation which espouses the ideals of environmentalism, and I for one am proud to now be a citizen of such a country."

However, there was still significant opposition to the vote. Bernard Nord, 35, voted against the inclusion.
"We can do it without them; we are a nation with a proud history. Why should we have to become part of a nation that has, in reality, not much to do with ours? Sure, there's plenty of history there, and the suchlike, but we're not Montevittoria."

Even more ardent was leader of the radical nationalist Left Freedom Party, Helen Schriber.
"Our sovereignty and national identity has been sold to another nation, and we still retain a royal figurehead, and this one with real powers! How could such a disaster have happened? Our environment is healthy- of course we cold clear up the arms dumps, sewerage, chemical waste... er... on our own, er, in time- we have more pressing matters. Like I said-"

The kingdom is to hold new federal and local elections within the nest three weeks.

[Avaerilon]

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Atheists controversially apply for lot in Temple Avenue

The Atheist Association of Avaerilon has caused controversy today by submitting an application to construct a building in Temple Avenue, the area of Lyndainium where religious institutions in Avaerilon are encouraged to build a place of worship. The AAA, the only formal organisation representing atheists in Avaerilon, has called the move "a modern, forward-thinking one to introduce more diversity to the area [of Temple Avenue]." Their action was endorsed by the Social Democrats; Maire Nabhert saying "Atheism is recognised on the census as a belief, and the avenue is a place for all beliefs in Avaerilon to come together. It's a wonder they haven't felt able to do so already. There are more atheists in Avaerilon, currently not represented on the avenue, than those who follow Islam or Buddhism, who have places of worship here."

The Centrists, on the other hand, advised the group to "pull-out."
"Atheism, though a belief, is not strictly a faith, and is certainly not a religion. Legally, there is no guarantee what they're planning to do is legal, since the charter established in the 1500s clearly states 'any religion with three or more followers in the kingdom is permitted to build with government assistance a place of worship.' This place is for the spiritual majority of Avaerilonians to see the multi-religious nature of our country, and celebrate our diversity in religion."

Neither the Liberals nor the Conservatives gave any endorsement or condemnation. Liberal Prime Minister (and agnostic) Dr. Gladstyn said; "It is for the learned council of Lyndainium to decide, based on a legal and practical basis, whether the AAA may build a place to meet in [Temple Avenue]. Our party would like to lend the council our support on what is potentially a very controversial issue."

Interestingly, the Agnostic Guild does not support the AAA's plans. Helena Gwelleri, Mistress of the Guild, gave an interview to ANI.

"First of all, I'd like to condemn the AAA for trying to tie agnosticism and atheism together; 1.1% of Avaerilonians are atheist, in comparison to 14.3% who are agnostic. The two are very different beliefs, not religions or faiths I would like to stress. Second, we think it is in very bad taste for a group which has in the past been deeply offensive to the very tolerant majority of Avaerilon who hold spiritual and religious views to set-up shop among them."

Meanwhile, religious opinion is mixed. The current leader of the Avaerilonian Christian Church, the Archespel of Minas Avalon Prof. Rowan Wat, welcomed the AAA's decision.
"Strictly speaking, no, atheism is not a faith, and traditionally the avenue has been for the exclusive use of faiths, so that we may all come together and promote the diversity Avaerilonians live by. However, we must recognise atheism to be the belief to which a number of people identify with. Also, if we are to achieve harmony with them, and get them to recognise our beliefs as a positive thing, then we must invite them into the fold here. I say we offer the hand of friendship, and we will find friends."

His words were supported by a number of religious organisations, including the Islamic Society of Avaerilon, whose current leader, Dr. Ali al-Bajiri, said "bringing all beliefs together is essential to achieve the ultimate goal of total understanding, toleration, and ultimately spiritual peace and happiness.

Of course, some organisations remained opposed to the move, including the Avaerilonian Catholic Church, the National Judaism Society, and the Guild of Mithras.

A decision is expected within a fortnight.

SPECIAL! All ANI readers are encouraged to take part in the poll featured in the same section of this forum; have your own say on things!

Trial of SNS members concludes- full-life sentences for all

The 7 members of the terrorist organisation SNS, who killed 27 men in a brutal assault in January, have been found guilty of a number of serious offences, and sentenced to life in prison.

27 soldiers of the 3rd Anc-Myrloch Regiment were ambushed in a bloody massacre by 5 men and 2 women from the Dunaemarian separatist group, who were soon apprehended in a joint Royal Watch and Royal Military Police Operation, which ended in a gunfight.

Doil o'Conn, Sean McAdams, Murphy McGuiness, Duncan Dee, Marc McEad, Maire Doabhl and Seili Damnava were all convicted of murder, possessing and using outlawed firearms, possessing and using explosives, conspiracy, theft, attempted murder, fraud, attempts to incite political violence and treason. They were all of them gaoled in Castell Du, the prison for serious offenders in Avaerilon out of two in-total. They will be the only inmates, Avaerilon being crime-free with this exception.

The Honourable Judge Dr. Shani Baladennivimi said their crime "was the most appalling she would ever judge" and that "no reprieve, no chance of leaving prison will ever be offered. You will be treated humanely in prison, as any criminal in Avaerilon can expect. But you will forever know the eternal hatred so much of Avaerilon has for you and what you've done. May the gods have mercy on your souls."

Prudes finally tire of nudist-friendly Avaerilonian laws and don "totally appropriate and skin-concealing" suits

Avaerilon is known for its laws which allow its citizens to don no clothes in certain areas or at certain times. But a small number of people (12) seem to disapprove of the relaxed attitude so much so, they have taken measures into their own hands.

"I actually don't like seeing my Stan's neck that much, though I do miss his moustache,"
Says Lelia MacLell, under what looks like a diving suit with holes for the mouth and eyes only.
"But it's all for the common good. Once people see how fun it is to wear this suits- which show no skin, mind- they'll stop this thousands of thousands of years old rubbish and actually wear something."

Ordinary bystander Marc Tomos, after recovering from a bout of severe laughing, managed to speak to journalists.

"I wish them luck; Avaerilonians like seeing a bit of skin now and then, you know? These people are living in some sort of bubble- I hate to think how pale they're going to end up. What I want to know is, what they intend to do when they need to wash those suits?"

[Avaerilon]

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Atheists victorious on Temple Avenue controversy
The AAA- or Atheist Association of Avaerilon- has welcomed the decision by the city council of Lyndainium, Avaerilon's largest city, to approve plans to build a meeting-building for atheists in the Temple Avenue area.

Temple Avenue aims to include all religions in Avaerilon and promote understanding and cohesion by allowing them to each have a holy building or place on the avenue. However, the AAA controversially submitted plans to have their own plot on the avenue. Religious opinions were mixed, verging from support to utter condemnation.

The Royal Council of the City of Lyndainium issued the following statement.

"Following careful and considered study, with expert legal advice, and listening to the thoughts of the local population, the Royal Council has approved the request made by the Atheist Association of Avaerilon to build a structure on Temple Avenue, which will be recognised as equal to the buildings already present.

Atheists were delighted at the result. Although under 1.5% of Avaerilonians are atheist, there are more atheists than those who follow a number of religions represented on the avenue. However, the Agnostic Guild, which can claim to represent nearly 15% of the population, has remained adamant this was "the wrong decision."

ANI readers were given the exciting chance to vote in an opinion poll on the matter, with the majority supporting the bid.

Construction on the building, which will be "modern, functional, yet attractive," has already begun, and is expected to finish in four months' time.

[Avaerilon]

Bryan Re-Elected as People’s Commissar Amid Violence

After a period out of politics and imprisonment under the previous government, Bryan has been successfully re-elected as the People’s Commissar of North American Republics. North American news agencies initially reported the elections as “peaceful,” and international reaction has been very positive; this later emerged to not be true, due to violence between rival political groups. However, Tim Escot of Transparency International said “as usual, North American Republics’ election was democratic and free of corruption.” Bryan beat more hardline opponents in a race closely-watched by the world.

Bryan was the long-serving head of North American Republics for a considerable time, marked by increasing international prominence and successful reforms, but also by a number of insurrections by radical Leninist groups. Bryan’s original tenure as People’s Commissar saw an increasingly close working-relationship with Avaerilon, culminating in the creation of the NATO military alliance. During the great Leninist series of coups in several SLUan nations, Bryan was flown to Avaerilon when his democratic government was toppled by the authoritarian rebels, where he remained until allied forces defeat the rebels in a series of daring manoeuvres. However, the end of his first original tenure saw the two countries drifting further apart, due to suspicion of intentions on the part of elements of his own government.

He was defeated in an election by the hardliner Crumrine, who advocated worldwide revolution and the toppling of capitalism. In-particular, she directed her anger on Avaerilon, which she viewed as the “epitome of evil.” Her country soon went to war with the newly-created CAT group, after invading southern Logres as a pretext for dragging Avaerilon into a long and costly war, which ended in stalemate. As a result of diplomatic negotiations, the NARan government offered to bar the then-People’s Commissar from running again, in-return for some concessions. The offer was accepted by the Magnificent Kingdom.

People’s Commissar Bryan was congratulated by a number of international leaders. Iago Penderyn, Minister of Foreign Affairs in Avaerilon, sent a congratulatory telegram, stating “[my] government looks very much forward to working with you again. I believe your wise and measured leadership can only heal the rift that has unfortunately taken place between our nations.” The Royal Court reported that His Majesty sent the People’s Commissar a finely-carved coffee table and traditional Avaerilonian leather armchairs as a gift, with His Majesty the King stating “I very much hope myself and you will be sitting-down to coffee at some point in the near future.”

Reaction in Avaerilon was very positive to the news. “Thank goodness! Bryan was always a reasonable man, unlike the previous People’s Commissar,” said Sorcha Epwelion, a computer programmer from Afferysteth. “The reason we went to war was due to Crumrine and her xenophobia- or should I say Avaerophobia?” Dwin Delfen, a wine-grower from Gondolin, also told ANI “how pleased” he was “to see Mr. Bryan back at the reins. “Personally, I have a lot of respect for the man, and though I’m not a communist myself, I think I admire his stance on social issues considerably.” Not everyone was so positive. Mirys Indalys from Mournhold expressed her “scepticism” that the election would change everything. “[Crumrine] will still be a powerful voice in North America. There will always be those who consider that sort of stance to be the way forward, and I don’t doubt she’ll cause trouble in the future.”

Anti-government protesters in New New York. Former People's Commissar Crumrine is alleged to be behind the disturbances (Image: GeoNews.net)

Some have expressed concern at the (info from NAR groups) actions. Maria Inlesias, a New New York resident, spoke to ANI about the situation. “It’s awful… I hoped I’d be able to get away from it all. Now these people are stirring-up trouble, trying to divide (us). This kind of thing only hurts the country.”
Elred Malfern, the leader of the Avaerilonian Socialist Party, condemned the violence. “Personally, I think the people committing these acts and stirring-up tensions are a disgrace to socialism and communism. We should surely be men and women of peace and understanding, not violence! I hope the NARan government is able to either reach and understanding with these people, or else see to it that they cannot undermine a democratically-elected government.”

Official NARan sources spoke of industrial action believed to be perpetrated by the former People’s Commissar Crumrine and her allies. “The workers in the Ciudad de Hierro have started barricading themselves within the steel mills and factories, refusing any dialogue.” As a result, the government has requested assistance with regards to raw materials, particularly steel. It is believed that Avaerilon may offer to provide the nation with steel, although this cannot be confirmed at present.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has advised against travel to major NARan cities at this time, and “recommends Avaerilonian citizens currently in the nation to ensure they either find themselves in a quiet, trouble-free location in the countryside, or else leave as quickly as possible.” A spokeswoman for the ministry said that this advice would remain until any “major disturbances” were “no-longer a worry in urban areas.”

Country Preparing for Hogswatch Festivities

Avaerilonians everywhere are preparing for the end-of-year celebration of Hogswatch, which falls on the 1st of Neralīt (January/‘Snow Fall’). Hogswatch is similar in a number of ways to traditional celebrations of Christmas in other nations; it involves a figure of winter delivering presents to children (and also adults!), feasting, singing and other festivities. All Avaerilonians, along with Rhygwdans and Mannish, enjoy this festival, with followers of Avaerilonian Christianity also celebrating the birth of Jesus on Hogswatch Day (the Avaerilonian Church maintains this date is the correct birth-date of Christ.

“I can’t wait to get my presents!” Said 8-year-old Gawaen Afferdwys. “I asked the Hogfather for a toy sword and a kitten and my very own castle; I’ve been good, so I’ll get them,” he said, proud of his efforts.
Children traditionally leave the Hogfather a pork pie, a glass of sujamma and a couple of turnips for the great flying hogs which pull his sleigh. The Hogfather is believed to be a former winter god who has changed with the times to embody the modern spirit. Usually depicted in a red, gree, or red-and-green fur-trimmed hooded robe, this powerfully-built and tall, bearded man is said to appear down chimneys and fill the stockings of children (or anyone else) who have behaved well with presents.

A man dressed as the Hogfather in Anc-Myrloch.

Typical decorations for the festivities include wreaths of holly on people’s doors, evergreen branches adorning beams and the tops of doors, tinsel, stars and the suchlike. Trees are not commonplace as decorative items in Avaerilon. Bells and mistletoe are also found in various places.

Hogswatch Eve on the 31st Cerodlwn (December/'Moonbeam') sees quiet suppers composed of buffets, and people enjoying the company of friends and relatives. The day itself is privy to a dinner or lunch held on the day, with a bounty of food served; typically duck with roast potatoes, parsnip, ash yams, various seasonal vegetables, a side of salmon and various other treats. The meal is concluded with a Hogswatch Pudding (see the British Christmas Pudding), which is usually drunk with a glass of good Fereldonian Brandy.

His Majesty the King spoke to crowds of onlookers in Minas Avalon, wishing them "a most Merry Hogswatch and an excellent new year."

Champion Hide-and-Seek Player Found after 23 years of Successful Hiding

The current hide-and-seek champion of Avaerilon, Myrs Gwesteln, has been found hiding inside a large tree, after a record-breaking 23 years of hiding. Mr. Gwestelen, 56, hid over 20 years ago, and despite the best efforts of other players in the international match, remained concealed within a large, hollow tree.

"Oh, it's been quite fun waiting here; it's the anticipation that makes the game so worthwhile!" Said a beaming Mr. Gwesteln. 

"And I had so much time to myself, too; I decorated the interior of the tree, learned how to cook a number of things, even got married and had kids! Amazing what you can do while hiding, isn't it?"

The champion hider was eventually found by skilled seeker, Elise du Lacerne, the new captain of the French team. 
"I was alerted to Myrs' presence by the muffled sound of music coming from le tree over zere... 'aving never met 'im, being only 19 myself, I couldn't be sure if I would find 'im or someone else within le tree. So I approached with caution, wearing my plimsoles, and found 'im listening to Sinatra while making tea for 'is wife."

Mrs. Gwesteln, wife of the champion hider, says she looks forward to "a different kind of living" from now on.

The hider has been congratulated by His Majesty the King, and will likely be knighted for his skill in hiding.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon Enters Contest for Regional Delegacy

The Magnificent Kingdom will contest the Delegacy of the Social Liberal Union, it was announced in Parliament. Iago Penderyn, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, said Avaerilon "had an opportunity to take the SLU to new heights, and help make the region the best it can possibly be." Although the government has a majority in the Commons, a vote was held regardless; all the main parties voted overwhelmingly for the proposal made by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Avaerilon has held regional office before in the role of Domestic Affairs, with a "successful and enviable legacy" being left-behind.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs is said to be "working overtime in campaigning for the position"

The government said the position would be hugely advantageous to the country and that the race for the delegacy itself would bring a number of benefits. "Even simply announcing the country's intention to run does a lot for the international reputation and exposure of Avaerilon," international relations expert Elise Nelmenemion told ANI. "Other nations begin to take an interest, (important) people want to meet with the government, businesses think of expanding here; getting the delegacy is a mere formality for some areas."

Two other SLUan nations have announced their intentions to run; the nation currently holding the respected position of Speaker, the Federal Republic of Ceni, will contest the race, as will the United Socialist States of Oceanic Atolls. "It won't be a hugely easy race," blogger Daerbhis o'Gonlean said. "Ceni is highly-respected for its work in the Regional Parliament, and Oceanic Atolls is a popular and trusted nation. Though Avaerilon is popular and known for being competent, the campaign will surely not be a walk in the park."

Reports abound tell of a great deal of money changing hands in taverns across the nation, with thousands of people placing bets on the result of the upcoming election. The favoured odds are not yet known at this time.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon Successful in bid for Regional Delegacy; "a true vote of confidence in our nation."

The Magnificent Kingdom has successfully won the position of Delegate of the Social Liberal Union, after a ballot held in the SLU. The representatives of the country campaigned on the grounds of transparency, participation and inclusiveness, with a tireless effort by a cross-part group of campaigners working alongside the Ministry of Foreign Affair being rewarded with success. The nation secured 10 out of 14 total votes, beating both the Federal Republic of Ceni (who secured a respectable 4 votes) and the United Socialist States of Oceanic Atolls, giving Avaerilon a comfortable victory.

Speaking in parliament today, the foreign minister Iago Penderyn thanked the team for "all their hard work."

"Avaerilon is proud of what you have achieved. People from all over the political spectrum in Avaerilon working together in a co-operative effort to earn the confidence and trust of the region. A great feat has been achieved by you all, and we are, all of us here today, immensely grateful for all your labours."

He went on to say “…never before has our nation enjoyed such recognition and praise in the region, and never have we stood in a greater position to help take the region forward.”

The Prime Minister, Dr. Gladstyn, also spoke today, telling the House of Commons "that Avaerilon's hardworking men and women have succeeded in what has surely been one of our nation’s greatest achievements in the region. ur success is, without a doubt, a true vote of confidence in our nation.”


The Prime Minister, Dr. Gwilym Gladstyn, at a celebration dinner for the campaign team

A sumptuous celebration dinner was held for the campaign team behind the victory, with His Majesty also attending, along with the leaders of the represented political parties, and a number of international diplomats and others of note.

However, some controversy has occurred within the country over the location of the office of the Delegate. Iago Penderyn announced that the country would be following the "usual SLUan protocol" by hosung the office in Avaerilon's capital, Minas Avalon. Social Democrat MP Melanie Goswen criticised the decision on her blog, melgoswen.avblog.av. “I love Minas Avalon like everyone else, but is it right to put it right in the heart of Liberal territory like that? And it’s a bit small compared to Lyndainium, along with all the antiquated quirks you get from a citadel.”

Civil servant Enrol Herigeth also had his doubts. “Lyndainium is where the embassies are, where our fellow SLUan nations have their bases in Avaerilon. So why put the delegate’s HQ such a long journey away in the capital? I understand it’s to do with His Majesty, but surely His Royal Self would be happy to commute on behalf of the nation? I know He would, in fact. It just seems impractical to me, really.”

Supporting the move was the Fereldonian Affairs spokesperson for the Centrsits, Alistair ap Tyronwelin. “Minas Avalon is the soul of the country, our pride and joy. Lyndainium is a fine city, and indeed international, but it has just about everything there already. We ought to share-out the benefits more, and the Honourable Minister is quite right to name Minas Avalon as the centre for the delegacy. The benefits to the people there will be fantastic, and foreign visitors coming on SLUan business cannot help but understand and appreciate our country more.”


The Delegatory Office will be housed in Minas Avalon, the nation's capital, instead of the largest city Lyndainium, which is the main centre of government

Resident of Vivec, Alrys Temnorvari also lent his support to the location of the office. "It's about time something really internationally-orientated, apart from the Royal Court and the university (the Royal University of Minas Avalon), was put there. It's a truly lovely place, and it does sum-up Avaerilon quite easily. I know some people complain a bit about Fereldan getting a lot of this kind of thing, but it is the main hub, as it were, and there's still plenty of internationally-focussed places in, say, Morrowind and elsewhere. Good decision, methinks."

Avaerilon Proposed Non-Nuclear Group of SLUan Nations

The government has announced that Avaerilon will attempt to form a non-nuclear group of nations within the SLU, after the proposal was made by His Most Royal Majesty in the Royal Court.

Former ecologist and diplomat Teleri Valnarmarys announced the plan to form a group to "...foster a new age of peace, understanding, and environmental stewardship in the region by joining-together and working to assist others achieve the same level of personal and environmental security that being nuclear-free entails."


The symbol of the proposed SLUan association

Avaerilon, a nuclear-free state, has a history of encouraging other nations to adopt the same stance on matters of nuclear weapons and power. A recent poll conducted by the Imperial University College of Septilonath suggests over 69% of Avaerilonians "strongly disapprove" of both nuclear power and weapons. A government aide said he hoped "forming an association whereby non-nuclear states can work together to make the world a safer place is surely a sentiment all Avaerilonians, and indeed many other SLUans can get-behind."

A confidential source within the Foreign Ministry said they were "confident that nations such as North American Republics, Kanoria and Oceanic Atolls would probably seek to join, but maybe not everyone is as keen as we are to, put it one way, draw a line in the sand with regards to nuclear."

Grumpy Cat Awarded Avaerilonian Citizenship

The Ministry of Internal Affairs has announced, after a "rather long and relaxed coffee break," to present the famous meme cat, Grumpy Cat, with Avaerilonian citizenship.

"I have a huge, HUGE poster of her in my room. It just... well, it shouldn't, but it does actually motivate me,"

said aide Uilleam Deasonall. "It's the look that does it. So, someone higher-up said 'why not award her with citizenship for having such a profound effect?' And someone else said 'it's not like we're very busy right now, is it?'" 

Tadare Sauce, aka Grumpy Cat, upon receiving the news she is now an honorary Avaerilonian citizen

Grumpy Cat's popularity is perhaps unmatched than in Avaerilon, where legions of admirers are estimated to dwell. Humourous books, mugs, t-shirts and circlets have been bought and sold in gargantuan quantities, generating an estimated Ā367 million in the past year. The number is expected to rise dramatically this year.

The owners of the famous feline were "delighted and somewhat surprised" at the news, which is more than can be said for Avaerilon's newest citizen. "I think I heard her growl 'good' very softly, but that could have just been a furball," said a visitor.

[Avaerilon]

"Avaerilon and the SLU will stand-by the Versutian Federation." Latest as Foreign Ministry Backs Embattled Region

Avaerilon will support the government of The Versutian Federation, leading the SLUan support for the embattled region amid widespread anger and bemusement at the situation of deposed founder Divair. The nation in-question was prosecuted by leading international authorities for alleged trade and advertisement violations, in a move that was condemned by a large segment of the international community. Divair's situation led to security fears in the VF, leading the regional government to conclude that a new region "had to be formed as quickly as possible."

Speaking to various journalists, a spokesperson from the region assured the gathered persons that the transition between the old region (which did not use "the" in its official title) and the new was taking place smoothly, and would be completed soon. "Over 130 of our members have ratified their position within the (new) region. We have a secure administration and the region will be safe from any attacks that might be made due to the changeover. The region's transitional administration will return power to the elected authorities in due course, and we expect to be back to the usual state of things within a week."

Crowds of citizens from all over the Versutian Federation protest the removal of Divair

Foreign Minister Iago Penderyn led calls in the Social Liberal Union condemning the "overzealous treatment" of Divair, and also gave his "full, total and heartfelt support" to the VF. "Avaerilon, both in our capacity as the delegatory nation of the SLU, and as a nation ourselves, supports the VF in their endeavours, and will lend any assistance deemed necessary by the appropriate authorities," the minister said in a statement yesterday.

A Nice Place to Live- Avaerilon Ranked 24th in World for Most Developed

Avaerilon's place as a nation with exceptional standards of living- based on income, education, and quality of life- has been confirmed by the latest reports from the World Assembly, being ranked 24th in the world for its score on the Human Development INdex (HDI).

The Magnificent Kingdom scored 0.98, or 'very high,' and was also ranked as the most developed nation within the SLU. An analysis provided stated: "Avaerilon has some of the world's best levels of literacy, some of the longest lifespans, and one of the best education systems there is. Avaerilonians enjoy high incomes, live free of crime and fear, and have access to a broad range of exceptional facilities that truly enhance their lives."

Researchers from the WA spent months compiling and analysing data from thousands of nations

Avaerilon's chief representative to the WA, Lord Henry Fforledwenil-Danvelas, gave a speech in the House of Lords today, praising the country's stance on education, healthcare and social welfare, naming the country "the envy of the region, and a nation others will surely seek to emulate." He went on to praise the nation's teachers, doctors and other crown employees, adding that "hard work and co-operation are, and always will be, vital to the continued success of our country. Long may it be that way."

Liberal MP Morrigan Methwelys said the result reflected "a true victory for Liberalism," and that Avaerilon could 2be forever proud" of the score. She said that the current government of Avaerilon had much to be credited for, naming educational and economic reforms and policies as "crucial" to the level of development. She did ad, however, that previous governments' actions contributed to it, and she offered her thanks to "hard-working and forward-thinking members of (other) political parties."

Avaerilon's economy was boosted by the news, increasing from 2301.56 points on the previous day to 2782.77 the next in a record boost of confidence.

Inferior Brandy Sparks Fears of a Shortage of the Good Stuff

Avaerilonians were shocked last night to hear that several metric tonnes of brandy was mistakenly sold to suppliers across the country, generating concerns that there may be a brandy shortage while the usual quality drink is in the process of being barreled and sent-off.

The national drink of Avaerilon is consumed in eye-watering quantities, and generates billions of Aubs for the economy. Usually, strict practices for bottling the minimum 5-year-aged product are adhered to, but there was "a glitch in the matrix," according to government experts.

"While on a routine tour of a warehouse in Anc-Myrloch, we opened a random cask from a numbered batch, and sniffed. To our horror, no notes of fruit, sun or herb were detected, and we were instead met with musk, pine, and pure spirit. I don't know if I'll ever sleep again."

The expert was later calmed with a glass of Cyrodiilic brandy.

Some of the seized barrels in-question, held by the Royal Excise and Customs

It appears that the cellarmaster of the unnamed distillery was ill on the day of barrelling, and his two apprentices were distracted "by a very nubile young woman, who had gotten lost in the cellars." Hence, under-aged brandy, just weeks from having been distilled, was placed on transport to a cellar warehouse, inadvertently breaking the law and social convention. The two men have since apologised.

However, since the suppliers are now running-low on the wonderful tipple, many fear that they may run-out before the next shipments arrive.

His Majesty has offered to share some of His Own cellar, though likely not the rumoured 5,000-year-old stuff in the very depths of the castle.

[Avaerilon]

SLU Approves UDLS Merger Treaty- Debate in UDLS Ongoing

The various states of the Social Liberal Union have voted in-favour of the proposed treaty which aims to integrate the United Democratic Leftist States into the SLU, following regional government problems and flagging membership in the latter region. The treaty, composed by the foreign offices of United Democracy of Scientists and the Magnificent Kingdom, was passed without opposition in the Open Parliament of the region, and submitted to the UDLS for that region's consideration.

So far, some small edits to the treaty have been made on the advice of representatives from Halstein, but otherwise support for the treaty has been forthcoming from the region. The former-UDLS states would, if the treaty is formally accepted, achieve full citizenship of the SLU, should they meet the stipulated legal requirements, but retain a certain status within the region.


High-standing legal representatives from both the SLU and UDLS discussing the treaty

Some criticisms were made about the constitution of the SLU, though intervention from Avaerilon's foreign office would appear to have eased any qualms for the time being. ANI visited various UDLS nations, interviewing a large number of people as to their thoughts on joining the SLU. Marie Estolhm told ANI she was "quite happy" to become a SLUan. "The SLU has a really good... reputation. The regional government listens to people, like ours does, but really seems to go out of its way to include opinions from all manner of nations in what it does. I'd like to think my voice is going to be heard by the real power-mongers of the region."

Jason de la Coure was "apprehensive" about the potential security risks, but insisted he was pleased to be "on the verge of moving into a more prosperous place." "You need to remember that the SLU is not in any kind of relationship with, say, the UDL, so that's a real security concern. It's not inconceivable that someone would try to exploit any kind of security vacuum during a merger. That being said, the SLU is stable, and it looks like it has allies it can count on. If this... leads me to (getting) better pay, health benefits and the like, then I'm all for it."

Sojiani Kjletocianahj was less than happy about the move. "We're going to sacrifice our sovereignty! We also risk being open to things like monarchies, magic- things the UDLS doesn't stand for. I don't care if we're losing members and getting stagnant- our identity is the most important thing, and the concessions in the treaty are just that- concessions."

An official response from the UDLS is expected soon, though legal experts from the Federal Republic of Ceni state that a clause in the region's constitution (the UDLS) could complicate matters and cause the voting period to be as long as 9 weeks. more news is expected before long.

Byte-coin Market Success Earns Avaerilonian Economy Trillions

The recent emergence of byte-coin has "benefited the economy immeasurably" after trading on the crypto-currency ended earlier this morning, with Avaerilonian economists recording over 155 thousand trillion Aubs gained by the nation after selling massive reserves of the new currency at a market high-point.

The new currency was subject to sudden rises and falls in value, but Avaerilon managed to earn considerable amounts of money. The country set-up and operated a licensed Byte-Coin Exchange, with nations from across the SLU and outside of it investing and depositing currency into it. At its height, it was ranked within the top 30 in the world, with quadrillions of byte-coins valued at even greater amounts of Aubs, SLUans and NS Dollars.


Traders representing various exchanges celebrate Avaerilon's huge profit

The exchange involved both the government and private sectors, overseen by the Royal Treasury. The government itself made the greatest amount of money, and is still deciding what to do with the mind-boggling wealth acquired. So far, large tax-rebates, extra funding for all governmental departments and additions to the Emergency National Fund have been approved. Citizens can expect to receive several thousand Aubs this year in rebates, in a move expected to propel the Liberal further up the opinion polls for next year's elections.

Businesses which invested have announced increased wages and newer, more expensive equipment being bought, though very few plan any extra days off, hoping to make the most of the increased market confidence. The Avaerilonian economy saw an unprecedented rise in value, with the main share price index soaring several hundred points.

The government has announced it will be valuing the shares held by SLUan nations and supplying payment based on them within the coming days.

Recent Predictions Prove True- Avaerilon's Custard is the Best and Most-Sought After

A World Assembly commission has concluded, after exhaustive research, that the best custard in the world comes from Avaerilon. The team of 15 men and women, all with Phds in Economics, Biology, Psychology and Cremonometics, descended upon the country to sample the best custards there was to offer, including the major brands.

After visiting other countries, including the UK, France and New Biscuitia, the team announced that Avaerilonian custard was superior in taste, texture and quantity, and also that the top-selling brand of custard was of Avaerilonian origin.


Avaerilonian custard is used in some of the finest deserts around the world

Lomornel Delight, based in the region of the same name, Arnalor, supplied more custard than any other single company, several thousand metric tonnes ahead of the competition. "We use only the finest organic ingredients; good milk, vanilla, sugar, eggs and a few secret ones only I know about," said the manager Elweni Delweth. "We provide custard to bakeries, ordinary customers, chefs, clowns, connoisseurs and other companies around the world, and have been doing since 1829."

[Avaerilon]

UDLS Votes to Join SLU; Merger Underway

The embattled region of Union of Democratic Leftist States has accepted the treaty proposed by the Social Liberal Union, it has been announced. Earlier last week, the various organs of the region voted nearly unanimously to approve the treaty, mostly written by the United Democracy of Scientists and the Magnificent Kingdom, signalling the start of a move from the UDLS into the SLU. The region's future was plunged into doubt after stalwart founder Azerzia "slid-into isolation," prompting fears the region could become the target of attacks from hostile powers.


The result is heard in the Open Parliament of the SLU; the region has gladly opened its arms to former-UDLS states

So far, a good number of nations have officially entered the SLU, though a significant number still reside within the UDLS. Notably, former delegate and SLU member-state Atlanrilzerzilium left to join another region.

Professor of International Politics at the University College of Ebonheart Marc Gwynolin gave his surmise of the situation.

"The treaty makes it clear the SLU is trying to be fair, with the cultural attache and the member status for nations coming in, but it's also firm that no-one will be allowed to abuse their membership of the region, either. These are good things, and it shows the treaty is well-written. It's a shame, therefore, that so many nations have yet to officially join the SLU- given the shared views of the regions it's odd that they should falter at this stage. I personally believe around two thirds of the region in-total will join the SLU; the rest will probably with either face the same situation as Azeria, or join another region."

First Official Poll for 2015 Election; Liberals Looks Forward to Increased Support

Tens of thousands of Avaerilonian citizens participated in a poll released today which shows the current Liberal government may well increase its majority in the House of Commons in the next elections, which will occur in May next year. The party enjoys a 55% majority in the lower-house of the federal parliament, but could increase it by a further 3%, putting it tantalisingly close to the position enjoyed by the party in the 1980s.


Iago Penderyn says the results "reflect confidence in the current government" reminiscent of the 1980s

Speaking to journalists in Denelon, Foreign Minister Iago Penderyn said the government "had served the people of Avaerilon well," and the results "were to be expected."

"In the 1980s, after a terrible economic crisis- or rather crisis after crisis during the mismanagement of the country by the Social Democrats and Conservatives- the Liberals managed to attain support from the people never before achieved; at least not during the earlier decades of the 20th Century. It won the 1985 election thanks to improving the economic situation, safeguarding the liberties and freedoms Avaerilonians enjoy, and also by stopping the final insurrections in overseas kingdoms that had blighted the kingdom for some time. While events are a little different this time round, our entry into the Social Liberal Union, and our success there, along with increasing political transparency and economic strength, prove the Liberals are the best party for Avaerilon."

Support has increased, figures seem to show, due to discontent with the strife within the Social Democratic Party and "a lack of assertiveness" within the Centrists. The former party was plagued with scandal and division over social policy, while the latter party has been accused of being "overly close to the Liberals to be any different" by its critics. The Centrists maintain their party "represents a different face of Avaerilonian politics, though we agree we share many core values with the Liberals."

The Conservatives are set for one of their worst showings ever, adding to several years of misery after they lost control of the Morrowish parliament some time ago to the Centrists and Liberals.

THE RESULTS IN FULL:

QUESTION: Who do you intend to vote for in the 2015 elections?

The Liberals: 58%
The Centrists: 22%
The Social Democrats: 9%
The Conservatives: 6%
Others: 5%

Total number of pollers- 57,491

"Lack of Tartan" Upsetting Visitors

Avaerilon attracts millions of tourists each year, with numbers rivalling that of France, Spain ad Italy. Usually, visitors leave with a very positive impression of the country, promising to visit again. However, some controversy has occurred over a perceived "lack of Celticness." The reason for this has been put down to the fact most Avaerilonians do not wear tartan (also known as plaid), contrary to some beliefs.


NOT Avaerilonian


That's more like it

Speaking to ANI, David Porcello of Zaldakki said he was "annoyed" that he had been misled by a travel company in his own country.

"I came here thinking everyone wore kilts and plaid, but instead I found it's only a clan thing up in Dunaemair. I guess I thought all Celts wore plaid- I hadn't even registered the fact half the population are elves. At first, I kind of wanted my money back, because I felt I'd been mis-sold. But after all those brandies in a Minas Avalonian tavern... well, I'm fine with the cloaks and tunics, frogging and velvet, really!"

There have been calls for Avaerilon to better advertise its heritage and culture outside of the SLU and usual sphere of diplomacy as a result. Some experts claim disgruntled tartan-enthusiasts travel to the nation only to be disappointed and leave. They also stated car-enthusiasts failed to notice the nation next to others, despite the thriving sports car industry much-admired in a number of other countries.

At any rate, some travel companies have been accused of "misrepresentation," particularly by Dunaemairan authorities. Diarmod Colbheara of the Guild of Clans said:

"Our tartan, which by the way never graces that known as a kilt, is only for special occasions and the such, and to be thought of as wearing it all the time... well, let's just say we're not tasteless."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon Retains Delegacy in "Stunning" Victory

The Magnificent Kingdom won its second bid for the Delegacy of the Social Liberal Union, following an unprecedented victory in the recent vote. Avaerilon received 13 votes, with an increase of 3 ballots in its favour over last time. The other candidate, the respected City-State of Phing Phong, did not receive any votes. There were 2 abstentions made.

This means Avaerilon will continue to act as the regional delegate for another term, which usually lasts around 3 months. Iago Penderyn, Minister of Foreign Affairs, was congratulated in the SLUan Open Parliament today by foreign dignitaries, and gave a short press conference on the win.


Minister of Foreign Affairs, Iago Penderyn, said he was "over the moon" with the result

"Avaerilon is pleased, and humbled, in fact, to continue to chair the delegacy of this fine region. We graciously thank those who voted for us, those who placed their worthy confidence in us, and I can safely say on behalf of my government, and also my nation, that we will continue to work for the region, and do so with honour and pride."

"I am... over-the-moon that we secured such a win, and would like to thank the tireless efforts of our brilliant campaign team, who come from all the corners of Avaerilon, from the lush meadows of Fereldan to the golden coasts of Cornlernor, to the jungles of Laonamea. You are deserving of this thanks more than anyone else, and your tireless hours spent conveying our message will be duly rewarded. I would also like to extend my greatest thanks to the outgoing cabinet, whose diligence and work ethic has... clearly helped our win. Without the co-operation and fortune of working with such fine representatives of the various nations of the SLU, I do not think our victory would have been so easy."

Despite reports of low electoral turnouts in the rest of the world, the SLU maintained respectable figures of voters, with the Open Parliament's system credited as its source. Some have voiced their concerns that more could have voted, however, if more advertising and information had been give. The Magnificent Kingdom's delegatory committee has responded by saying it will "do all that is possible to increase voter turnout" for the forthcoming ministerial elections.

Meanwhile, the Royal Court has announced that His Most Royal Majesty the King will be hosting a diplomatic reception with a formal dinner at his own private residence in the picturesque area of southern Avalon in central Fereldan. Known for its fine agricultural produce, thriving wine and brandy industry and its lush countryside dotted with large oak woods, the fine 15th-Century residence will be opened to the very creme-de-le-creme of the Social Liberal Union.


His Majesty will be inviting a large number of foreign diplomats and potentates to a diplomatic reception and dinner at His Own country residence in southern Avalon, Nēricawt Qawdarglan ('Silverwood Hall')

Deadly Attack on Convoy Leaves 12 Dead in Bigtopia

A SLUan armed convoy, believed to be involved in removing fissile material from the former Scalewind reactors in Bigtopia, was attacked yesterday, resulting in the deaths of 12 servicemen. 8 were Avaerilonian soldiers of the Royal Colovian Regiment, 3 were fellow army personnel from the Jasminia Islands, and another from a different SLUan state. The Ministry of Defence has informed the families of the men involved, and offered "its heartfelt sympathies for the families of these brave and honourable warriors." 8 further soldiers were injured and flown by Hallan Special Forces to a military hospital, where they are said to be recovering with good progress.

The attack occurred when the highly-armed and armoured military convoy was attacked with high-powered and sophisticated weapons. 3 of the famously-strong and resilient Torwg vehicles built and used by Avaerilon were destroyed by "sophisticated means," prompting experts to conjecture over the nature of the explosives used. Most of the attackers, possibly insurgents or mercenaries, were killed by the SLUan soldiers.


One of the Torwgvehicles, famed for their armour and ability to withstand attacks, lying wrecked in Bigtopia

The government has confirmed that the convoy was part of an operation involving Scalewind, but has declined to comment yet on the exact nature of its mission, though they did report that the convoy was carrying "dangerous material to be disposed of responsibly and safely." The exact identity of the attackers is not yet known by the media, though it has been alleged that GTA (Gwedarnelin Trarnmornelīon Aslinon), Avaerilon's foreign intelligence agency, has pinpointed the culprits and work is underway to catch them.


Minister of Defence, Robert Cambel, expressed his "most sorrowful anguish" at the news of the deaths

Brigadier Robert Cambel, who served in the Laonamean War and also in the Yerissat Crisis, gave a heartfelt speech to the media from Dynedin, Dunaemair, offering his sympathies for the families of the deceased and praises for the soldiers themselves.

"I am beset by pain for the deaths of these men most brave and loyal. I am indeed full of the most sorrowful anguish to learn of their loss in such a cowardly and vile attack, which left them dead along with the brave servicemen of our allies, whose deaths we mourn equally. I am confident we will find those responsible for the attack, given that the attackers were clearly under orders from some foul source, and punish them to the full extent of the law. Though we cannot bring these fine men back, we can give their loved ones closure."

The government of Bigtopia offered its sincere condolences, with the President himself giving a speech.

"Our friends from the Social Liberal Union, who first saved us from a nuclear catastrophe, have now born another brunt so fierce for the safety of our people. I am truly humbled that our country has such allies, and want to honour the lives of those 12 men who gave theirs so bravely to keep us safe."

The peacekeeping and decommissioning operations in Bigtopia will continue.

"There's no such thing as magic!" Cruel and Idiotic Uncle Sent to Mental Institution Following Embarrassing Public Outburst

Avaerilon was in-shock today at learning the news that a deranged lunatic harassed and insulted a young mage apprentice before imprisoning him in an understairs cupboard. Hanred Podyr, 11, received an acceptance to study magic at the well-regarded institution of Caer Morog, but his uncle, 53, instead of congratulating him on his great success, descended into an arcanaphobic frenzy.


The events which shocked the nation; a deranged man locking a young mage up and spouting rubbish

He yelled repeatedly, according to witnesses, that magic "was a fool's pursuit" and "did not exist," before dragging the poor boy into the home's cupboard-under-the-stairs, and imprisoning him there for some 20 minutes. The unnamed man is confirmed to be the boy's uncle, and his unfavourable views on magic have "been known to his relatives and neighbours for some time." The man's wife attempted to calm him down, "but he just kept getting redder and redder, like a great big lobster!"

Eventually, the local wizard, Hector Penhaligan (Unseen University, Wiz. 1st Grade, hons.), managed to enter the home, subdue the enraged man with a spell, and let poor young Hanred out.

"It was terrifying!" Hanred told local newspapers. "I thought I'd be getting hugs all-round and maybe a celebratory feast later. Instead, my uncle goes berserk and locks me in a dark, nasty cupboard. I bet there's spiders in there, too."

The man has since been taken to a mental institution, where he will undergo treatment and therapy.

[Avaerilon]

SLUan Cabinet Elections to Conclude Tonight in Intensive Race

The second cabinet elections for 2014 are underway and soon to close, with only a few hours to go before polls close. The votes will decide those who hold the various cabinet positions in the region, entailing significant responsibilities to successful candidate nations. The individual ministerial delegations have significant control in forming and implementing regional policy in the respective areas, and the chairs of Domestic Affairs, Foreign Affairs and Immigration are to be hotly-contested this time around, with 3 candidates each for Domestic and Foreign Affairs, and 2 for Immigration.

Elections got underway soon after the successful re-election of Avaerilon to the chair of the region's delegacy, with the largest series of nominations proposed in recent history, including all of the current regional cabinet and newcomers to the region. The current cabinet ministerial chairs are all seeking re-election, though one deputy chair, held currently by Nytavuthar, has declined to run again.


Delegates representing the member states of the region will determine the make-up of the next cabinet of the region

Bookmakers and analysts across the region have determined that this will be a close-fought race "between respectable and capable chairs," and has generated considerable interest in the election process across the region. The government of the Magnificent Kingdom has confirmed it has voted in all three separate elections, though a spokesman declined to name the most preferred nations selected.

Recent Figures Prove True; Avaerilon Leads Region in Lifespan

The recent World Assembly Census has named Avaerilon as being the SLUan nation with the longest average lifespan. The census, based on the average lifespan of human citizens of various countries across the world, named the Magnificent Kingdom 256th in the world, beating a number of other nations with excellent healthcare and general health to the enviable position. Estimates put the average lifespan in Avaerilon as 146 years, considerable higher than that of nations such as Switzerland and Japan.


Perhaps this has something to do with it- sensible regular consumption of alcohol such as brandy, which Avaerilon is famous for, could be linked to the increasingly long lifespan of the average Avaerilonian

The census did not include non-human residents of nations, though a separate survey suggested Avaerilon's Sylvan and Dunmeri populations were among the top-10 long-lived peoples in the world.

On the back of these figures, Minister of Public Health Dr. Seobhána McClonn praised the efforts and care of medical staff and rising educational standards "in our already world-class medical education sector." She also stated increased funding for the national health service (Basoleth Idelos Lyraesol, BIL) was another factor "to be thanked for these fantastic results."

Aside from BIL's stratospheric levels of funding, the lifestyles of ordinary Avaerilonians have played a part in the results. 152-year old Marphelys Waenet from Forlindon told ANI it was "the natural choice of diet and inclination" that made for the long-livedness.

"Avaerilonians have but 2 servings of red meat in a week, they eat no lamb, which is fatty. I have never once tasted lamb or mutton, and I think my body has thanked me for it! I also imagine... the wine and beer have something to do with it, as they always say it's got chemicals and elixirs in it that make one healthy. But I think, more than anything, it must be the brandy. You have a glass of that most evenings, it gives you such fortification for your body, the muscles have a relax, the eyes, nose and tongue are enlivened. Really, it is almost as if, when drunk in moderation, that it is the essence of life."

Ghostly House Chases Away Last Potential Buyer and Taken off the Market

A currently-abandoned manor in northern Dunaemair that has laid empty since 1878 has been turned-over the the local authorities by its last estate agent and owner after the last in a string of potential owners was "scared away" by ghostly apparitions and "horrific noises and shadowy sights."

Dúnadlen manor was built in 1693, and was once the proud home of various nobles, well-to-do merchants and successful academics. However, its last owner, the physician and amateur occultist Dr. D R. Acwlar, had a ghastly reputation, and after a banquet which saw the deaths of 6 guests and some local trouble over alleged "monsters" and "dark rituals," the house lay abandoned after the mysterious disappearance of Dr. Acwlar.


It could do with a new coat of paint and some minor repairs. Maybe a bit of magic to keep-out any horrors of the nightmarish sort, too.

The noted estate agent F. Bagshaw owned the property for the last 15 years, and has seen 17 different potential buyers leave after spending a night in the home. He has since handed the property over to the local authority to look after.

"It's a historic gem, though that business with the laudanum and the Mithraic ritual done backwards with the sausages... well, let's just say it turns my stomach even today, and that's saying something! But I've lost too much money on the damn thing, and had this funny dream the other night with... well, I bought a bigger wardrobe at any rate."

The local authorities say they will attempt "to refurbish and restore this property after consulting with the appropriate arcane authorities on getting rid of whatever it is that's patrolling the corridors at night, leaving bloody footprints on the Persian rugs."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilonian Journalists Arrested in Gorgopstan- Government Demands their Release

3 Avaerilonian journalists working for LSA (Llawnethel Sernfel Avaerilīthis, 'Avaerilonian Central Broadcasting') have been arrested by the national guard of Gorgopstan over alleged "incitement of terrorism" charges- charges which the government of Avaerilon hotly disputes.

The three men, popular correspondent Bran Ffolonel, cameraman Dathalys Sidanivi, and technical supervisor Mearc Dunabhea, were shooting a report on the current protests and situation in the country, when they were approached by up to 17 members of the military's own police branch, the National Guard of Gorgopstan, and reportedly dragged-away into a police van, where they were later reported to have been arrested on charges relating to terrorism.

Avaerilon does not operate an embassy or consulate in the country, but foreign minister Iago Penderyn has written to his counterpart Colonel Lorat, condemning the arrests and disputing the charges. Mr. Penderyn has also issued a statement to the media, demanding the immediate release of the men, and charging the Gorgopstani government with being "disgracefully oppressive, nationalistic and unconstructive."


The ongoing protests have been against the military government of Gorgopstan and its autocratic policies

The foreign office of Gorgopstan has refused to comment on the arrests, though the nation guard confirmed "three Avaerilonian citizens in the country by legal means were detained during a demonstration on charges of incitement to acts of terror. They are currently in police custody and will soon be transferred to trial." The country has suspended all civilian courts and instead makes its rulings through military tribunal, which are accused of being biased and corrupt.

Speaking to ANI, colleague of Mr. Ffolonel Delysa Molfen spoke of the broadcaster's "disbelief" and "fears for the mens' safety." "It's shocking that they actually had the nerve to arrest them; they've got to know this will look how it really is to the international community, which is suppression and paranoid targeting of journalists... we're worried that they'll be mistreated in one of those awful Gorgopstan prisons, beaten by police... the kind of thing you hear about happening to pro-democracy campaigners."

Mr. Ffolonel and his team have made a name for themselves in Avaerilonian media, often arriving before other journalists and their crews in volatile countries or countries with ongoing political crises, and going to great lengths to cover current events. The three men were covering a protest organised by a number of po-democracy political parties against the current ban on elections issued by the new military government of the country, who took power after the deeply unpopular and autocratic rule of ousted dictator Auriva Nakovica collapsed. Ms. Nakovica fled the country soon after. However, the military has proved to be no less suppressive of the populace, though perhaps less quick to violence.

The government has said it "will not rest" until the three men are freed and safely home. MPs today met to discuss stringent economic sanctions on the country, which relies heavily on imported Avaerilonian hydrogen for fuel and steel for various requirements.

Gwaffon Edenoril Wins Car of the Year 1243

1243 EA's car of the year (2014 by Gregorian reckoning) has been announced, with native firm Gwaffon taking the prize after its new Edenoril ('Continental') GT impressed the panel of judges above any other car.

Gwaffon has recently come out of a troubled period, which saw fears that the marque may go under or suffer severe job losses. However, following a shake-up, a renaissance in design and a government loan, the company is clearly returning to its former healthy place in Avaerilon automotive manufacturing. The Edenoil is the company's most popular vehicle, the name having existed since the 1950s on the faster, more driver-focussed cars the marque produces.

With the body made entirely from aluminium, weight has been cut substantially (over 200kg from the previous model), and the car features a new chassis made from titanium, too; the first truly new chassis since the 1990s for the firm. A new engine also débuts; an all-alloy hydrogen V8, naturally aspirated, that in its ultimate "VR" guise produces over 600 BHP. The interior is a revelation, with a modern approach to traditional Gwaffon opulence and comfort, notably in the VR where wood has been banished and brushed aluminium, iridium and brass take its place. A top speed of 194 MPH has been reported.


Attention to detail, speed and a cosseting driving and ownership experience saw the luxury grand tourer out-gun its opposition

Priced at Ā150,000, this is no ordinary mass-produced vehicle, but in a country that buys more sports, luxury and GT cars in-total than 'ordinary' machines, there won't be a shortage of buyers; in fact, 4,570 have been carefully coach-built by Maradon's of Branlorn already, with sales anticipated to triple in the next 2 years as the car begins to be exported.

Buyers waxed lyrical about the solid build and sheer quality of the vehicle, while the judges were particularly impressed with the unrivalled details, design pieces and interior of the car. Handling has been praised by reviewers, along with a faultless owning experience. One judge called the car "the epitome of Avaerilonian cars- engineering and build quality, speed, handling and luxury."

The news is a real boost to the company, who have announced 3 new models after the lull and shake-up, with millions of Aubs being invested in new equipment and technology.

"Plant Party" will Run in 2015 with "Bontanical" Candidate

A group of flora-enthusiasts, horticulturists and recently-released hospital patients have announced the formation of the "Plant Party" in Avaerilon, and plan to contest the 2015 federal election, with the president of their party revealed to be a young rubber plant named Ffred.

The party has announced a swathe of new policies, including fines for walking on grass, banning veganism and instituting a research dialogue between leading scientists, mages and other experts and various large trees.

Spokeswoman Delona Redelin claimed the party would "attract strong support from across the country," thanks to "sympathy for the poor old flowers, trees and other plants that have for too long been second-class citizens."


Ffred the rubber plant has allegedly announced a policy of equal botanical rights and free asparagus for the under-15s

Pundits have accused the party of "having too much time on its hands," and failing to realise plants do not possess brains.

[Avaerilon]

The Trial of the Century- Arms Dealer Linked to Fugitive Spymaster Jack Märr to be Tried in Avaerilon

The Royal Watch (Y Vēmswāt Regnerol) has announced that one Largo Goldfinger, the infamous international arms dealer and one-time number one most wanted man in the country, has been arrested and will be brought to trial in what is probably the greatest criminal trial of the last 100 years conducted in Avaerilon.

Mr. Goldfinger, a foreign national aged 34, was apprehended in Blondwern (June) by GTA, Avaerilon's foreign intelligence agency, as part of an operation to break-up a dangerous arms smuggling ring and pursue a number of incredibly dangerous international terrorists. He was subsequently arrested by police and brought to an undisclosed secure facility, where he was "kept under guard awaiting trial." The government has confirmed it asked the police to delay releasing any information on Goldfinger, as part of a recent operation by GTA in Bigtopia, which saw the recovery of highly-dangerous radioactive material and the thwarting of fugitive former-spymaster Jack Märr's plans for it.

ANI understands an agent bearing a certain likeness to Mr. Goldfinger posed as him to conduct undercover business with the aim of getting access to Märr and his air field with one Charles Crook, the mining magnate and associate of Märr's, who has subsequently been detained by SLUan forces in Bigtopia. The operation has been a success, though the former Grolschian spymaster escaped into the desert, and is believed to be abroad.


A picture of the accused taken by an undercover operative in Sialen. Mr. Goldfinger could face life imprisonment in Avaerilon's impregnable high-security prison Caer Dwladol.

The government defended its decision to withhold the release of any information on Goldfinger, stating that Mr. Goldfinger was "formally arrested, detained and then charged as per the legal requirements." It further added that such a delay was necessary to successfully carry-out its covert operation, "working with our partners in the SLU to defeat this menace to the good peoples of Bigtopia and the Social Liberal Union."

Mr. Goldfinger was caught attempting to smuggle high-grade laser-guided missile systems from Maxtopia, and already had an international arrest warrant out for his arrest by a number of other nations, whom ANI understands to have provided the Royal Watch with evidence implicating Goldfinger in a string of offences. The Ministry of Justice has confirmed the accused will stand trial accused of weapons smuggling, illegal arms dealing, grand larceny, conspiracy to commit treason, accessory to murder, wilful manslaughter, aiding and abetting known criminals, and terror offences, in addition to several others. Under Avaerilonian law, Mr. Goldfinger could face life imprisonment with no parole in the nation's single maximum-security gaol, Caer Dwladol, located on a small island in Dunaemair. Neither the accused nor his attorney have spoken to the media.

Government Issues Sanctions as Avaerilonian Journalistic Team Stand Trial

The House of Commons and House of Lords have agreed on a serious of sanctions against that state of Gorgopstan, in response to its continuing crackdown on protests and dissent, and also due to the arrest of three Avaerilonian citizens on "terror" charges.

The three men, popular correspondent Bran Ffolonel, cameraman Dathalys Sidanivi, and technical supervisor Mearc Dunabhea, were shooting a report on the current protests and situation in the country, when they were approached by up to 17 members of the military's own police branch, the National Guard of Gorgopstan, and reportedly dragged-away into a police van, where they were later reported to have been arrested on charges relating to terrorism.

They are now being formally tried for incitement of terrorism and offences related to terror, in what is seen by the international community as a whole as suppression of the media and growing paranoia about the effects of foreign nationals in Gorgopstan. The three men could face up to 25 years in prison; a system which in this country is known for violence and depravity.

MPs voted today to bring in a series of hard-hitting sanctions against the military regime of the country, including a ban on sales of any hydrogen fuel by private companies, though many of the leading hydrogen fuel producers had already cancelled contracts with Gorgopstan as a result of the arrests. Other effects include travel bans on top Gorgopstani officials, freezing of bank accounts and the seizure of funds, and an end to exports of steel, titanium and other metals.


The military government of Gorgopstan is currently suppressing protests and demonstrations against the regime, anger which stems from the previous government's authoritarian rule.

Speaking to ANI, economist Ceresī Delenfalyen gave her expert opinion on the scope and impact of the sanctions. "The one thing that the military of Gorgopstan really relies-upon in terms of foreign imports is hydrogen, and over 80% of that comes from Avaerilon. A blanket ban means they can't run near as many tanks, armoured vehicles, lorries etc. as they usually would, which means they'll have a less intimidating presence in the streets where they gather. Not only that, accounts have been frozen, meaning top officials won't be able to use their own funds for certain things, which could involve leaving the country or bolstering the government. They'll really be feeling the bite of these sanctions quickly and very sharply, too. This will embolden the protesters, of whom Avaerilon has already given its support, and lead the the government getting nervous."

MPs from across the political spectrum voted overwhelmingly in-favour of the bill, which included cross-party discussion on its contents. The result was 672-23, with 5 abstentions.

The government has also warned Gorgopstan against continuing "this charade and kangaroo-court," citing further sanctions. Some have suggested the government may appeal for WA intervention or possibly arm rebel elements, though the Foreign Office has said "these options are not likely to be considered at this point in time."

Campaign to Ban Iced Water Flops

A campaign by oral safety enthusiasts (Is this real?- Ed.) to place a ban on the sale and drinking of iced mineral water has failed, after "no one" turned up to their inaugural meeting yesterday afternoon.

The group of 12 men and women announced they were "passionate" about "preventing discomfort in teeth and thoraxes" and that "iced water is a dangerous and decadent evil."


Dangerous and immoral? Avaerilonians don't seem to think so.

However, despite a large tent with several booths and a giant kettle for tea, nobody turned up on what was a very hot day, with a lot of locals in the area of Dynedin, where the event was happening, reporting to be enjoying filling crystal jugs with ice cubes and mineral water.

The group has refused to "give up," stating other "problems," such as apples, sweetcorn and tortilla chips "still plague our fair kingdom."

The police issued a statement earlier today, stating "iced water is as dangerous as an old, fat swamp dragon next to a warm stove, and campaigners ought to spend their time in the real world before demanding 'police protection' from mineral water salesmen, if such people exist."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon Secures Third Term with as Delegatory Nation in "Unprecedented" Victory

The Magnificent Kingdom will continue to act as the delegate nation of the Social Liberal Union, following a third successful vote in-favour of the country. 7 votes were cast in the ballot, down from last time, but aside from the abstentions made by the delegation from Avaerilon and the competitor Kanoria, all votes were in-favour of Avaerilon retaining the prestigious position.

Avaerilon will continue to act as delegate for around ninety to a hundred days more, before the term is due to end. This will be the last consecutive term the nation can bid to have as chair of the delegatory position, though the Avaerilonian delegation to the SLU Open Parliament can bid to contest for the role again in the future.


Prime Minister Dr. Gladstyn hailed the result as "a reminder of the confidence the fellow nations of the region have" in the country, and of "an excellent, fluid set of relations" the SLU has fostered

This marks the third in a series of votes that have been clear indicators of the esteem the country would appear to be held in by its fellow SLUan nations; the first vote saw Avaerilon emerge victorious over two fellow candidates with a clear majority, and the second saw an unprecedented 100% win for the nation's bid. The most recent campaign focussed on continuing progress made on the revamped judicial system of the region and promising to continue an active Cabinet with ministerial nations leading their own policies.

Political analyst Marīa Rhedlenos said the consistent victories "spoke volumes" about the level of trust Avaerilon has built-up within the region.

"If you look at the way things stack-up, our delegation held the chair of domestic affairs in the region for a very long tenure, and then managed to quite easily secure the delegacy thrice. That says a lot about the attitudes of our fellow nations in the region. Avaerilon's government is considered trustworthy in that it's seen as being a stable, reliable partner, and very capable of seeing things through. It's also fair to say nobody considers anything to have been unduly underhanded or weighted in-favour of Avaerilonian power, given that nobody's tried a spirited challenge of Avaerilon's tenure, nor have any comments or complaints been lodged to that effect."

It is understood elections for the ministerial positions will commence shortly, with a significant number of states anticipated to contest for the attractive positions. More information will follow soon.

Government to Sign Trio of Treaties with Annaxes

Avaerilon will be signing Visa-waiver, extradition and non-aggression treaties with the Federal Republic of Anaaxes, the government has announced.

The three treaties, largely drawn-up by lawmakers from the Federal Republic, with additional points suggested by Avaerilonian ministries, are a number of treaties the state is looking to sign with partners in the SLU. These are the first wave of treaties to appear after some considerable discussions over a free travel area and a free trade agreement, though these treaties are purely bilateral as opposed to union-wide measures proposed by Avaerilon with regards to the earlier discussions.


The treaties are expected to be signed in Serenno, the capital of Anaaxes

Giridon Velmaerys, a spokesman for the Ministry of Internal Affairs, told journalists that the treaties were part of increasing interests in securing "iron-clad legislation to produce fruitful working relationships with trusted partner nations."

"The Federal Republic [Anaaxes] and the Magnificent Kingdom have been allies in all but name for quite some time, taking a similar view to worldly and regional matters, as well as establishing a good and beneficial working-relationship in the Regional Cabinet. These treaties are essentially the first material fruits of this relationship, and serve to not only affirm our mutual commitment to peace, prosperity and friendship, but also act to help further the cause of federalism and internationalism, two beliefs I believe both our governments share."

The Visa-waiver treaty will allow citizens of the two countries to travel easily between the two, and has gained considerable support from the commercial sector of Avaerilon, with various companies envisaging significantly increased profits, sales and benefits to the treasury. The non-aggression pact has also been welcomed by all four major political parties and a number of charities and other groups, who saluted it as an example of "pacifism in-action" and "a commitment to diplomacy and dialogue." Defence experts have also pointed-out that this treaty could help any future developments with regards to SATO, a military-defence treaty organisation suggested by the Magnificent Kingdom as a successor to the now-defunct NATO and CAT groups.

The Royal Watch expressed its support for the extradition treaty, saying "the unlikelihood of crime in our nation is further enhanced by this treaty, which will surely convince any potential criminals, if there are any in this fair country, that there really are few places to hide from justice."

The treaties are expected to be ratified within a few days.

ANI Banned in Some Countries for "Having Too Much Blue on it."

Experts were baffled to learn that in no less than 12 different countries, Avaerilon's premier English-language broadcaster has been banned for including the colours blue and purple in its logo.

ANI's logo, which draws inspiration from the flag of the Magnificent Kingdom, was said to fall foul of a number of different bureaucratic and social conventions in several different countries, rendering it "illegal, or if not, distasteful."


Apparently, some governments are "horrified" at the use of blues and purples in logos

The only coherent response we were able to draw was from the Rou'sje Mah'roon district government of Graoskail.

"Blue is associated with the hated emperor Wo D'wharing Ki-Helt, and is therefore unacceptable to our people on that basis. Meanwhile, purple or any similar colours are banned on the principle that purple ink is far too expensive and the money better spent on food, water, and smooth jars. Therefore, we are most regrettable to say, our government cannot accept the presence of any broadcaster, however good, that uses these hues in its logo or symbol."

ANI has suggested alternative colours for use in certain foreign logos, but no government has been forthcoming on suggestions.

Nobody in the office seemed to feel it was important, so we've moved on.

[Avaerilon]

The Goldfinger Trial- Prosecution Opens Case Against Arms Dealer and Confidant of Fugitive Spymaster

Criminal proceedings have begun in-earnest against the former arms dealer and suspected associate of the fugitive spymaster Jack Märr, Largo Goldfinger, with the prosecution, the state, opening its case against the accused. Mr. Goldfinger, 34 and a foreign national, was arrested by Avaerilonian authorities over the summer, as part of a major crackdown on illegal arms dealing, smuggling and other such crime, and subsequently held while a GTA agent assumed his place in what is described as a "high risk sting-operation" against the former Grolschian spymaster Märr.

In the opening statements, the judge, Ēg Perārchorn Gilfedas Araeloss, charged the accused with a string of high-profile offences, including illegal arms smuggling, extortion, falsifying documents, manslaughter, accessory to murder, grand larceny and assisting a known fugitive of the SLU. ĒP Araeloss, a veteran of a number of cases against former dictators, high-profile criminals and politicians, confirmed the previous ruling made that Mr. Goldfinger will be continued to have bail denied, given the high flight risk and connections to the criminal underworld. Mr. Goldfinger pleaded not guilty to all of his alleged offences.

The prosecution, led by Gwenhelen Ffaraelys, accused Mr. Goldfinger of exploiting international loopholes to line his own pockets with "a black and evil infamy, which ultimately led to the killing of good men, women and children; all innocents, marked fro death by the weapons he sold."


Goldfinger and his legal counsel discuss the proceedings. Goldfinger has been denied bail and is currently incarcerated in maximum-security conditions.

The attack one him was relentless, and lasted for well over three hours, with no recess being called. Goldfinger was booed as he was led away back to prison once the proceedings were finished, while the prosecution received a round of applause from members of the public in the gallery.

Mr. Goldfinger faces life imprisonment for the string of offences he has been charged with; the most anyone in Avaerilonian legal history has faced. The defence will make their opening case next week.

LSA Journalists Found Guilty and Sentenced to Long Stints in Prison; Government Denounces Gorgopstan and Begins Legal Action to Free Men

The three Avaerilonian men held by the regime of Gorgopstan, popular correspondent Bran Ffolonel, cameraman Dathalys Sidanivi, and technical supervisor Mearc Dunabhea, have been sentenced to 14 years in prison each, a sentenced deemed "lenient" by the military tribunal which oversaw the proceedings.

A report on the current political situation in Gorgopstan was being filmed when the men were detained by a large cadre of police officers, who took them to prison awaiting trial. The Magnificent Kingdom was repeatedly called for their release, along with the restoration of democracy and the de-militarisation of the country.


General Kamzavil, President of Gorgopstan, has been accused of gross civil rights violations by various groups across the world. Avaerilon has denounced him and his government in the wake of the trial of the three men.

Just hours after the result was read out and the three men- tired looking and withdrawn- were led away, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs sent their counterparts in the restive country a communique, expressing "grave concern at the lack of transparency and fairness" in the proceedings, and "hereby accusing the state of Gorgopstan of suppressing civil liberties, political freedoms and conducting itself in a vile, racially-prejudiced manner against Avaerilon's citizens, and in a bloody and heavy-handed manner against its own." ANI understands HMRM the King also sent an official communique, officially denouncing the country. No comment as to the details of this second correspondence has been made by Gorgopstan, while the Royal Court confirmed "His Most Royal Majesty echoed the sentiments of His government and people, and added to them His own personal feelings on the matter, couched in a most dry and rapier form, maintaining eloquence and composure whilst making the point as clear as crystal."

The government, LSA and other broadcasters (including ANI), the families of the three men and a number of other countries have signed a petition presented to the World Assembly, calling for worldwide condemnation of the imprisonment of the three men and for serious diplomatic action to be taken to further pressure the military regime of Gorgopstan to release the men.

Dietician Suggests Daily Dose of Newspaper Could be Beneficial

A noted dieticians has made the bold suggestion that people should eat "at least a page" of a broadsheet newspaper per day for nutritional benefits. Dr. Robhan Adcirse told ANI of his research into dietary fibre and "essential inks," stating that tabloids were counter-nutritious and that broadsheets offered "vitamins and minerals not usually present in most foods people tend to consume."

"People simply don't realise the benefits of eating newspaper; it's got no fat in it whatsoever, traces of protein, a tonne of roughage and mineral content like you would nae believe. I also find it goes with everything, too."


Could this goat be onto something? Probably not

Official health bodies were quick to rubbish Dr. Adcirse's study, stating that newspapers only contributed in nutritional terms to a bad case of the runs.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilonian Term as Delegate to End; Elections Underway

The Magnificent Kingdom will by Tuesday next week officially hand the office of Delegate of the Social Liberal Union over to another member state, after three consecutive terms in the position. Three candidates have been announced, being The Federal Republic of Anaaxes, The Egalitarian Archipelago of Kanoria, and The Democratic Republic of Zunkwentania, with ballots being cast currently to determine the successor holder of the office.

Avaerilon secured the title early this year, and won two subsequent votes unanimously, setting an unprecedented record. During Avaerilon's office, general political activity in the region has increased, steps taken to restore the formal justice system implemented (with votes for several remaining positions note long off) and a "more coherent sense of regional unity" developed, according to commentators from various member states.


For nearly an entire year, this building in Minas Avalon was one of the most important offices of the region. The former delegatory office building will continue to be used by the Avaerilonian Delegation to the SLU.

Speaking to ANI this morning, Minister of Foreign Affairs Iago Penderyn spoke of his "great pride and pleasure" in Avaerilon representing the SLU on the world stage.

"I believe we've achieved an awful lot over the last few months. We've seen reorganisation, reinvigoration, and strong measures taken to ensure the region is a fully-functioning machine. While we have not achieved all we wanted to do, few seldom do, and I honestly feel our nation can be proud of the great work we've done in helping and representing the SLU. It will be a pleasure to see the fruits of our labour and cooperation with our fellow member states ripen over the coming weeks and months, and I believe the regions will be all the stronger for it."

"We could not have done this without the support and expertise of our fellow Administration members, and indeed our active and participatory member states. I'd like to thank all those who've worked with us, and wish the next delegatory chair the very best of luck and good fortune."

The government has confirmed it does not intend to bid for any ministerial positions during the coming term, instead indicating "other capable member states" should take up the call and beckon. A celebratory dinner for the three consecutive terms as delegatory nation will be held over the coming days in Minas Avalon for the staff of the Avaerilonian Delegatory Office.


The Red Crisis- Social Democrats to Elect New Leader as Poll Suggests Significant Losses

After several years of instability, crisis and low electoral predictions, the Social Democrat party (Y Weldemelīon Cantasol) has announced it will be seeking a new leader, after Baryl Morvayn announced he was "stepping down and initiating a leadership ballot.

Ēfd. Morvayn was elected to the position of the Social Democrats in 2012, promising to "restore the core elements of a social democracy" to a part being increasingly accused of "tribalism" and "militant policy." Baryl Morvayn has been credited with restoring the party's core social democratic values after they were arguable put in-peril with both "champagne socialists" and radical socialists touting more authoritarian ideals. However, Ēfd. Morvayn has not been able to improve the party's dismal ratings, which suggest the party will barely get 6% of the national vote.

Three candidates have emerged as possible successors to Ēfd. Morvayn, each of them representing the core traditional social democratic group of the party; current spokeswoman for Fereldonian Affairs Elwen Drenlys, popular activist and charity worker Sinéad Cádoilin, and MP for Rudeantír and spokesman for Health Alrys Rhedanīon.


The three candidates for the position; from left-to-right, Elwen Drenlys, Sinéad Cádoilin, Alrys Rhedanīon.

Svss. Drenlys joined the party in 1991, and has since served as an MP on both a federal and regional level. Hailing from Caradyfon in western Fereldan, she has attracted attention for denouncing an anti-Fereldonian bias in the party and pledged to engage with Fereldonian voters more than the party has been doing in the past (Fereldan is regarded as a staunch Liberal bastion). Svss. Drenlys has also spoken of "a desire to be more constructive and cooperative with other parties, and seek to engage with partners on health and education more." Sdss. Cádoilin is a well-known advocate of international aid and compassion, and has worked both with NGOs and the government to address issues of poverty, famine and education in the developing world. Last month, the Patrician Lord Vetinari praised her for "forthright duty, compassion and selflessness towards her fellow sentient beings." She is popular with students and young people, a core demographic that the Liberals generally have the most sway over. Ēfr. Rhedanīon is a veteran of the party, having joined in the late 1960s, and stood as a critic of increasing authoritarianism and radical ideals the party held and practised in the 1970s and early '80s. Having been the MP for Rudeantír since 1985, he is a popular and well-known part member, and has been the party's spokesman on health since 2011. He has stated he supports the current regional coalition with the Liberals and would like to see more links made with said party and the Centrists.

Party members are expected to being voting in the next few weeks; currently no candidate is favoured. It is unknown whether the Liberal's suggestion that all Avaerilonian voters have a say on such positions will be accepted.


Woman Buys Friend 20,000 Pairs of Socks While Inebriated

A woman from Morrowind, after a spate of heavy drinking, proceeded to buy a friend over a tonne of socks, spending nearly Ā35,000 in the process. Lineri Redmarys, after "a pretty rough day at work," and after copious amounts of Sujamma, logged onto avsocs.co.av and proceeded to buy Iago Dranacelon, a friend, the huge quantity of socks he later discovered on his front lawn.

"By Azura, what in Oblivion was I thinking?" Sdss. Redmarys complained to gobsmacked onlookers. "Who on earth needs 20,000 pairs of bloody socks?! And how in heck am I going to afford a holiday this year?"


Some of the items bought for Ēfd. Dranacelon, who is said to be "utterly bewildered and confused."

The recipient of the socks apparently "already has more than enough pairs to last," and has stated he will attempt to get them returned.

It is not known is any socks have been tried on or made into sock puppets.

[Avaerilon]

Anaaxes Confirmed as Delegatory Chair Holder in Regional Elections

The Federal Republic of Anaaxes will take over the duties of Delegate from the Magnificent Kingdom's committee after winning the recent Delegatory ballot earlier this week. The Anaaxese committee is understood to have nearly completed formal procedures , making it likely that the transition of duties between the two nations will be completed by Monday next week.

In the ballot, the Anaaxese committee won a clear majority, promising to build on developments made during the previous terms and to use the initiative to further advance affairs in the region. The nation previously headed Foreign Affairs and later Immigration in the SLUan Cabinet under the Avaerilonian committee, which lasted for three consecutive terms.

Minister of Foreign Affairs Iago Penderyn said he was "delighted" at the result and commented that "the SLU will most certainly continue to prosper under the careful and considerate leadership of the Anaaxese delgeation."


The proud and modern city of Serenno will become the new centre of SLUan government following Anaaxes' successful bid to become Delegate.

Political analysts have compared the campaign proposals of Anaaxes to those of the Magnificent Kingdom's, and suggested that the new delegation will "not be greatly different in approaches and goals" to that of the previous ones under Avaerilon. Analyst Mares Telmonivi told ANI:

"What we're seeing is fairly consistent development and continuity of policies, approaches and goals. We saw the same thing when the Millylandish committee took-over from the Grolschian leadership, and we're likely seeing the same thing here. The Anaaxese delegation will build-upon foundations laid during the Avaerilonian tenure, and develop them further, as is logical, and also create some new policies and direction to advance the region."

"It is too early to tell what kind of approach the Anaaxese committee will have. We've seen three different approaches by delegatory nations before: the Eggyist approach, focussing on ministry-led initiative and policy, which was popularised by the nation of Eggy216 and followed by the Kingdom of Grolsch and then Millyland and Feebland; the Destorian approach, which involves an assertive and semi-presidential model, named for Destorio and followed by Azerzia; and then the most recent approach undertaken by Avaerilon, which involved a delegate setting a number of goals and targets, but allowing ministers full control over the attainment of those goals- halfway between the "passive" delegatory style of Eggy216 and the "assertive" style of Destorio. We might as well coin this an "Avaerilonian" approach. It will be interesting to see which approach the committee from Anaaxes decides to employ, and we will find out over the coming weeks and months."

"What we can say for sure though is that the region is clearly in capable and competent hands."

Storm Warnings Across Northern Parts of Avaerilon as Waves Lash Coast

The government has issued severe storm warnings across much of northern Avaerilon in response to "exceptionally powerful" waves and winds battering the coast in what is the most ferocious spate of stormy coastal weather for over 40 years.

The warnings apply to much of northern and eastern Dunaemair, the northern coast of Vvadenfel and mainland Morrowind, the isle of Solsteim and the regions of Efrog, Fferwen, Denelon and Lyndlonil in Fereldan. Arnalor is not currently experiencing any freak weather and residents of the kingdom have been advised to "go about their business in whatever manner they see fit." However, beaches have been closed across the affected areas and lifeboat services placed on red-alert, with reports of boats capsizing in the turbulent waters, with 3 men currently missing from eastern Efrog after their trawler failed to return to harbour. The lifeboats service had stated they believe the men are "likely alive, but cold, tired and in need or urgent rescue."


Storm waves on the western coast of Fferwen, northern Fereldan. The northern areas of the country have seen some of the highest and most dangerous waves in over 40 years.

The Dunaemairan parliament voted unanimously to close all public beaches in the region of Argíl after 10 metre-high waves crashed onto the region's shores, prompting worries of severe flooding. In Fereldan, boat owners have been asked to take their craft to indoor shelter, with ferries and other service boats from the north currently not running for fear of the dangerous waters.

Meteorologists have stated that northern winds and currents are significantly more powerful this year due to natural cycles and shifts, and estimate "at least a further week of trouble" will last before the seas calm down.

Police Seeking Possible Witness (Stoat) of Brutal Altercation

The Royal Watch has appealed for information on a witness who likely saw the entire events leading to and following a brutal physical alternation between two farmers from Havendol, Arnalor.

The two men are believed to have argued over grazing times on common ground, and began brawling after a heated exchange. Both men are in the hospital for some "significant injuries" under police guard.

Police believe the only witness to the events was "a single male stoat, likely 5 years in age, living in the copse nearby," an animal seen "leaving the areas in some hurry" by locals rushing upon to the area upon realising a fight had just taken place.


Have you seen this stoat? This stoat could well have information that could solve a crime.

Police want the animal to "come forward as soon as possible with any information it might have, which will help us in our investigation of this confrontation between two individuals."

The Royal Watch told ANI a witch was being employed by the police to communicate between them and their sought-after witness.