ANI- Avaerilon News International

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are

Welcome to the first issue of ANI! We are very pleased to be able to offer you the latest and most important news in Avaerilon, even if you're somewhere else within the SLU.

Parties Gearing-Up for Morrowind parliament Election
The main parties of Avaerilon are preparing for the upcoming devolved parliament election taking place in Morrowind. Each of the four "Home Isles" of Avaerilon has its own devolved parliament, with elections that take place in-between general elections for the House of Commons and House of Lords. Morrowind is the first of the four this year to stage an election, with the Centre Party increasing its popularity over the governing Conservative party, which largely looks to Morrowind for seats in the Commons. Recent anger over the proposed privatisation of one of Morrowind's largest carriage-building companies has led to a backlash against the Conservatives, who saw their support dip 8-10%. The Liberals, the largest party in the Commons, is seeking to increase its share of the vote in the easternmost isle, and it is rumoured that they might well form a coalition with the Centre Party, who hold some very similar views.

Calls for Avaerilon to Run in the Nuclear Race
Security experts have suggested Avaerilon should equip itself with atomic weapons, with the prospect of a less peaceful 2012 emerging. Avaerilon, a designated nuclear-free zone, currently protects itself with plasma-based weapons and electro-magnetic deterrents, designed to minimise civilian casualties and environmental damage. Army Captain Logain McCoy gave an interview to The Times newspaper, saying:

"We just don't have adequate protection in the face of a large-scale war... nobody knows whether these missiles we have actually work. It would be easy to procure atomic weapons, known to be reliable, because some of our close partners in the SLU have them."

Meanwhile, noted environmentalist Fleyr Roberts opposed the idea of nuclear weapons:

"Avaerilon is a beautiful country, unspoiled by large-scale heavy industry or fissile production. We have always been committed to peace, and having nuclear warheads just makes us a target. There's really no logical reason to even consider having these awful things."

The head of the army, General Sir Owain ap Gwenedd, also dismissed nuclear weapons, suggesting the current deterrents we more effective:

"We've tested the PEMPGs (Plasma Electro-Magnetic Pulse Generators) to an extent and they've proven nothing but effective. They can cause circuit boards to melt and render all modern guns and missiles useless. I personally think we can be proud to have a weapon which disarms aggressors so readily without having to resort to bloodshed."

Tongue Twister's Tongue Twisted in Tongue Twisting Twister
A professional tongue twister was taken to Accident and Emergency in hospital today, after suffering a serious injury. Geraint Jenkins, 23, was performing an incredibly complex twister when his tongue wrapped itself around, causing him to choke and collapse. He was given immediate medical aid by patrons of The Old Cobbler Inn, in the town of Abercrannog, which included CPR, a well-executed Heinrich Manoeuvre, and being given ten pints of ale in twenty seconds. It emerged, however, that his tongue had completely twisted up into a knot, when paramedics arrived a few minutes later. Surgery has been successful, it can be reported, and Mr. Jenkins is recovering well.

Sam Gryffyths, paramedic, told ANI:

"Mr. Jenkins, a noted and capable tongue-twister, attempted an especially difficult twister and fell-into difficulty. He was given immediate aid by patrons and paramedics, resulting the speedy recovery he is undergoing now."

"I would strongly recommend the general public refrain from attempting the particular tongue-twister, as it is of an incredibly dangerous nature. Already I have heard reports of the less cautious members of the public injuring and embarrassing themselves by attempting it."

The tongue-twister in question is called: "Twenty True Trawler Trailing Twenty Tweedy Totty Tables." This publication holds no responsibility for injuries pertained to said twister.

[Avaerilon]

Averilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

It's 9 o'clock in Avaerilon, and that means time for the second issue of ANI! Here's the latest news concerning Avaerilon today.

Nuclear Fallout Heading for Avaerilon.
Nuclear fallout resulting from the recent Scalewind fire in Bigtopia is heading for the Social-Liberal Union, and could cover up to 50% of Avaerilon in highly-radioactive dust, climatologists say. The reactor, designed to create nuclear weapons, caught fire due to extreme safety hazards. Various SLU nations, namely North American Republics, Grolsch and Avaerilon, took steps to put-out the fire and prevent a huge explosion at the site.

However, the fire (which had been raging for some days) released a cloud of toxic and highly-radioactive dust out of one of the reactor chimneys. To combat the effects of radiation, Avaerilon is stockpiling tremendous quantities of milk and distributing potassium-iodine tablets to every resident of the country. Meanwhile. Grolsch it utilising its fleet of GNI filtering ships to filter milk from aroundthe SLU, should the cloud descend. NAR is preparing to launch a team of nanobots towards the cloud, with the hope that the nanobots will neutralise any radiation.

Experts advise citizens to check all news broadcasts and weather reports frequently, and to ensure they have a good supply of provisions within the home at all times.

Mynyd Goch "will erupt in 6 days."
Mynyd Goch, Avaerilon's largest and most active volcano, will likely erupt within a week, according to vulcanologists. The Board for the Study of Tectonics has released a report suggesting a sizeable eruption will happen, causing the local authorities to evacuate the Mynyd Goch national preserve and to put-up the VALS (Volcanic Ash and Lava Shield) wall, designed to hold-back a cataclysmic eruption.

The volcano, located on the isle of Morrowind, is an active acid-cone volcano, measuring a titanic 8,752 feet. It last erupted a year ago, when it released a large column of ash and a stream of molten lava. No-one has died as a direct result of the volcano in over 125 years.

Avaerilon Becomes the SLU's Resident Jester.
Avaerilon has become the first nation in the SLU to be recognised for comedic value. At the request of His Majesty the King, Avaerilon submitted a proposal to the Ministry of Domestic Affairs, outlining Avaerilon's position as the joke-teller in the SLU Weekly Journal.

It has opened with a string of deliberately bad jokes, formulated by the King himself. Sources close to the Royal Court tell us that "the King is working very hard on preparing another set of jokes," but this time "will focus on intelligent anecdotes."

His Majesty declined the offer of the creation of a Ministry of Laughter, insisting the entire House of Lords filled that role in its entirety. The current Patrician elect, Havelock Vetinari, said that the King "has a wit sharper than a diamond stiletto."

Meanwhile, Avaerilonian hospitals experienced a rush on emergency beds as citizens with Maniacal Laughter Disorder (MLD) were admitted in their droves. Experts warn that while laughter is very good for the body, too much of it can lead to shortages of breath, dizziness, and eventually annoying one'e entire family and friends.

[Avaerilon]

BREAKING NEWS: Grolschian Security Service NACIOG implicated in corruption scandal

The Grolschian security service NACIOG has been implicated in a corruption scandal involving Bigtopia, sources from within the Grolschian government have revealed. It is thought that NACIOG headquarters were the target of a covert mission by North American forces. Neither government has yet commented. The Foreign Minister told ANI that more information "would be available shortly."

[Avaerilon]

BREAKING NEWS: NACIOG "Ran Bigtopia" Without Government Knowledge- Arrest Warrants Issued to ISPol[/b]

ANI can reveal that the Grolschian intelligence service, NACIOG, was in de-facto control over Bigtopia for several years, despite the Grolschian government having no idea about this.

Avaerilon's Foreign Minister, Flyr Griffiths, made this statement at an SLU summit held today.

"Avaerilon's International Committee for the Prevention of Corruption (ICPC) was handed nearly 23,000 pages of documents from a protected source working in the Grolsch Foreign Ministry. These documents show that NACIOG was not strictly controlled by the government itself, and had an unlimited budget. They also tell us that Jack Märr, once tipped to become the Grolschian Foreign Minister and the current head of Covert Operations at NACIOG, had been directing more and more money into NACIOG."

"An excerpt states:"

'"He's been increasing NACICOG's international presence over the past few years and he's used the recent hacking scandal and the increase in NACICOG funding to recruit scientists, politicians and intelligence personnel."'

"Furthermore, Märr appeared to have great interests in Bigtopia. He had billions to his name in oil and gas contracts, construction, media, telecom, leisure and in civil engineering. There were also copies of documents from Bigtopian ministers talking about how Märr had helped President Ismael Eisenhower of Bigtopia take the election victory over the more moderate Achmed al-Kennedy."

"Avaerilon's own security services have come to the conclusion that NACIOG was effectively controlling Bigtopia 5 years before the Scalewind Reactors were built. This was done without the knowledge or permission of the Grolschian government, and was masterminded by Märr and his key allies in NACIOG. It is possible that Märr was intending to weaken the SLU with the possible war and nuclear fallout to thus take control of the region."

"We have issued arrest warrants to ISpol for Märr, Ven Dun, Van Dyke, Tharmaes and Haagen; the principal directors of NACIOG."

It is believed that the North American Republics may have bombed the NACIOG headquarters after any files were taken to be handed to Avaerilon and other nations. It has been suggested that this was done on the behest of Grolsch.

More updates will follow.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

Avaerilon Becomes Head of Domestic Affairs for the SLU.
Avaerilon has taken-up its place as the new "Minister" for Domestic Affairs in the Social Liberal Union.

The nation was elected with a small lead over the previous minister, North American Republics, who is now the deputy head. The Patrician Havelock Vetinari expressed his gratitude to the nations who put Avaerilon as their first-choice, and then extended his thanks to all those "who took-part in the democratic process, without which, would make the region redundant."

Avaerilon has already begun some work into re-engineering internal affairs of the SLU.

Mynyd Goch Eruption "Well under-control."
The largest and most active volcano on the isle of Morrowind, Mynyd Goch, has erupted, but experts say the eruption is a very minor venting.

Dr. Alice Murdoch, a leading vulcanologist, told ANI that the eruption is very small and unlikely to cause any major problems. "There have been no earthquakes over 3.4 on the Richter Scale, no gas is building up, groundwater levels are normal: these things all point to the eruption continuing to be gentle."

There was concern large amounts of ash would prevent air-travel to and from Morrowind, but so far, only a small amount of volcanic ash has risen, with an east-blowing wind directing the ash over to the sea. Lava has come down rather placidly from Mynyd Goch, travelling down the lava roads, called "Foyada" by local people.

So far, the government is maintaining the usual levels of restricted access and standby teams of miners, soldiers and geologists in case of an emergency.

Royal Birthday: One Day To Go.
Tomorrow from 00:45 AM, HMRM King Aubrey the Dragonheart will be celebrating his birthday, leading to national celebrations and feasting.

The country is expected to wear the national costume, feast, join merrymaking and have a good time, while cheering the good health of the King.

Popularity for His Majesty is very high; at around 87% approval.

The national costume, for our international viewers, consists of:

MEN
Green, blue or purple tunic, probably velvet, with a cloak and a torc around the neck. Sword belts to be worn with a longsword. Any clan alliegeinces to be displayed with sashes of tartan.

WOMEN:
Blue, purple or red long dresses, probably silk and velvet. Knife-belts and daggers to be worn. Ribboned boots and shoes commonplace. Circlets worn around the head; earrings generally not worn for the day.

Dragon Prices Soar
The prices paid, on average, for the Lesser Dragon variety (one of the most popular pets in Avaerilon) has risen dramatically in recent days.

Dragon-fanciers blamed the weather and the volcanic eruptions for the price-hike, saying females are picky about when they lay their eggs. The standard price of the Western Gold-Belly reached A340, a record. Only a month ago, A160 would have bought a more thoroughbred example.

Many children are said to be disappointed that they won't have a dragon anytime soon.

In unrelated news, call-outs for the fire service are at an all-time low. Experts are said to be "puzzled."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
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Giant Maggots "a serious threat to Avaerilon."
The giant maggots found in Dunaemair are said to be cause for grave concern, the Ministry of Health has stated. Dr Owain Edwards, the Minister of Health, said that "the maggots are the cause of this latest plague sweeping the region and ravaging parts of Avaerilon." The maggots have been found by SLU scientists to be the vectors of the plague, although they are allergic to fungi. It has also been discovered that they likely originate from a chemical dump found in an old coal mine. ISPol are said to be "investigating thoroughly."

Strike Called
The Social Democrats and the Dunaemair National Party have called for a strike in response to the government sending soldiers to the northern isle and tightening security. The mild Social Democrats and the more socialist DNP called on "all working people to leave their work and say 'no more!'" In particular, they targeted transport and hospital staff. Brendan Galmar of the Duaemair Lorry Drivers' Union called on staff to "strike, to get the troops off our streets, interfering with ordinary peoples' lives, and send a clear message to the government."

Transport Minister Aoife Burns responded with a scathing and damning statement. "This irresponsible and selfish action is a publicity stunt on the part of these two parties... This does not represent he majority and is typical of the selfish unions elsewhere in the world. Avaerilonians should be ashamed of this."

Her calls were repeated by the head of the Medical Processionals Union, Taliesin ap Gwylim, who told ANI "neither doctors nor nurses believe in striking now... it merely makes it more difficult for people living in Dunaemair and elsewhere. We want to treat people and we need a clear supply line to do so. A strike would kill hundreds."

Stocks to be Brought-Back; Vegetable Growers Excited
The Ministry of Justice has passed a bill allowing local councils to put convicted petty-offenders ans trouble-makers into the stocks, and have citizens throw soft produce (including eggs and fish) at the individual. Ministers believe it will encourage people not to shout loudly at night, spit on the ground, or use improper grammar.

Vegetable enthusiast Caryl Hawkins told us "I'm going to sell thrice as many cabbages and spuds as last year! Everyone wants to throw stuff at those troglodytes!"

Meanwhile, the National Union for Teaching Care And Safety in our Everyday-lives(NUT CASE) expressed concern that some criminals may be allergic to certain vegetables. "There's even a chance some poor, lactose-intolerant person bloats up if someone throws some stinking cheese!" Said spokeswoman Delia Thick.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

EXCLUSIVE: Voters Approve New Flag

The citizens of Avaerilon have voted overwhelmingly in-favour of a new flag for the nation, proposed by His Most Royal Majesty the King. His Excellency had proposed that the original icon on the flag, the Silver Stag, be retired, and the true national icon, the Green Dragon (Yr Ddraig Wyrdd), be inserted instead.

Some 92% of voters turned out, with 81.6% voting to change the flag. In anticipation of the result, official buildings were issued with the newly-made flags beforehand. Ceremonies erupted across Avaerilon and in embassies elsewhere, with the "retirement" of the old flag, and the inception of the new one.

International responses to the new flag have been very positive. People's Commissar Bryan, of North American Republics, was quoted by the Foreign Ministry as "astonished by the intricate patchwork of the flag, the elaborate use of geometry and colours, and the exceptional care that the flag seemed to be made with."

Sources close to Avaerilon's chief ally claim that the People's Commissar told His Majesty "it seems to reflect Avaerilon better."

The Green Dragon is the collective symbol of The Land (which includes the people and environment). It is also a favourite among dragon-breeders.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
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Gwaywffon Future In-Doubt
Gwaywffon (gway-ooh-fon, translates as "spear"), one of Avaerilon's oldest car manufactures, is said to be considering possible administration, as fears over it's finances grow. Gwaywffon was established in 1892, and was a major car producer until 1965, when it moved from conventional family cars into executive and luxury vehicles. Over the last ten years, the value of the company's shares has fallen by over a third, and mounting debts are said to be threatening administration.

Chief Executive Geraint McAvoy told reporters that Gwaywffon was "really considering evasive action" to sort out its financial troubles. He told ANI "myself and the other members of the management believe we will need a new strategy to keep this cherished name alive."

Adam Roberts, the company's Car Manufacturers' Union representative, added his concerns. "We used to be one of the biggest names in motoring; we have accepted we are now no longer in the big leagues." "However, we can't let this company and all it represents die. There would also be a catastrophic loss of jobs not just here, but further down the supply-chain."

Experts say the company can keep itself above administration, provided that it comes up with a new marketing strategy and a new fleet of models. The government has said it will not step-in and nationalise the company, but that it will loan Gwaywffon the money necessary to re-invigorate itself, should they request it of the government.

MP's Death Triggers By-Election in Scottle Cove.
The Centrist Party MP for Scottle Gove in Arnalor, Celrondi Elegest, passed away this morning, triggering a by-election in her former constituency. Ms. Elegest was 71 and suffering from a pancreatic disorder, when she died peacefully in her sleep. Her constituents were informed by Varlondin Aerol, her husband.

Tributes were paid by local Aldermen and Alderwomen (councillors), who called Ms. Elgest "a dedicated servant of the people" and "one of the best-liked elven politicians for decades."

A date has been set for the election as the 10th of Hare-Run (April). Dafyd Jones will be representing the Centrist Party, with Baladas Demnovi from the Liberals and Sion Caffrey from the Conservatives. The Social Democrats are not fielding a candidate. Experts are divided over who is most likely to win the seat. The by-election will be conducted via the AV system.

Police in Avaerilon "happiest in the entire world."
A controversial poll has shown Avaerilon as the nation with the happiest police force. The Bobby Sunshine Foundation published the report of some 52,000 nations on Sunday. DCI Sean Ogg of Trynsian welcomed the report.

"Our officers have a job which is a lot harder than other nations may care to think. The daily routine includes picking up crisp packets that have blown-away in the wind, tipping the helmet to passers-by, assisting lost tourists, and escorting the gaffer home after an evening tipple."

"Why, just last week I actually had to send someone to gaol while they awaited trial!"

"Ah, care for another cup of hot chocolate?"

Forensics detectives are said to be "bored" and "inventing games to keep themselves amused." A man who did not wish to identify himself claimed "when we had a murder in Lundain, everyone rushed to the scene. I think we had about a hundred detectives in there, jostling for pieces of evidence."

"It was only after two hours of that madness that someone pointed-out it was clearly an accidental death."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
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Major Internet Failure Causes a Storm of Problems.
A major failure of the Central Internet Exchange caused a huge list of problems in Fereldan, last night. It has since emerged that a build-up of traffic coinciding with mass downloads of new software released by AvTech were the main causes of the problem. Servers and exchanges were unable to cope with the demand, and "re-booted several times before crashing," according to a senior engineer from ATE.

Many users found they were unable to load web-pages without crashing, and even effecting other parts of their computers. Live videos were interrupted and e-mails were not sent. Some traders even had issues with shares and orders. Thankfully, engineers from various telecom providers were on the scene within seconds and the systems were working within two minutes.

The government has stated that it will invest in "a new server per 50,000 people downloading data greater than 200MB" scheme, expected to cost between A25-40 million. AvTech has apologised for the rush on its software release, and has promised to release it in smaller increments the next time around. "We just did not anticipate that kind of demand... you could say it was as good an advertisement as any." Suggested Melanie Briggs, Press Relations Officer of AvTech.

Chances of Accidental Death in Avaerilon "Negligible."
Figures released today by the Census Office of the World Assembly suggest that Avaerilon has some of the lowest unexpected death rates in the world.

Experts today claimed that "one is more likely to win the lottery than be hit by a bus in Avaerilon." This was greeted with enthusiasm by the government and also by emergency services, who were praised for their efforts in keeping the country safe.

However, it drew criticism from some corners; most notably from public health-and-safety campaigning group StreetClear. StreetClear told ANI: "This report simply encourages governments to become lazy and complacent... the reality is, our streets are far too dangerous... we need more protection."

The government, and indeed the House of Commons, dismissed these claims as "completely unfounded," "ridiculous" and "b*ll*cks."

Navy Unveils Top-Secret New Weapon.
The Royal Navy of Avaerilon has released a public report, detailing a new weapon to be carrier on most 1st and 2nd Class warships. The device is a modest-looking radar dish and "electro-coil" that protrudes into the water. After five years of secret development, the name and purpose of it have been revealed.

"Davey Jones" releases low-frequency "tecto-aural" waves, that cuase the symptoms of sea-sickness in the crew of an enemy ship. They are capable of penetrating submarines, making them ideal for most situations.

Captain Charles Argyll called the weapons "our best idea in naval warfare since we fired rotting mackerel at enemy ships 20 years ago."

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

Conservatives Suffer Major Defeat in Morrowind Election
The Conservative Party lost its narrow majority in the Morrowind Assembly, after suffering a haemorrhage in support in the Assembly Elections. Polling just 24%, down from 51%, they have now been forced out of Vivec Palace, where a coalition between the Centrist Part and Liberal Party is likely to govern.

The Centrists saw most of the lost Conservative votes awarded to them, gathering some 38.7%, up from 29% in the previous election. Meanwhile, the Liberals (who govern Avaerilon as the central government) saw their share rise from 15.4% to 26.3%. The Redsayn National Party and Social Democrats did not see any substantial change in their shares, which are both around 5.5%.

Conservative support fell after attempts were made to privatise one of the largest carriage-building firms in the country. Their perceived soft Dunmer-nationalism under newer leaders is also likely to have factored in with voters in the South and West of the isle choosing the moderate Centrists or progressive Liberals over them.

This likely spells trouble for the Conservatives in the next general election, since most of their support comes from Morrowind. No statements have been issued yet except by the Morrowind Liberal Party leader Lloros Fyr, who told ANI: "This result simply goes to show that the people of Morrowind understand and support the actions of the Liberals as the main government of Avaerilon. We are seeing a more fair, progressive view of the world from people here, and that is something to be proud of."

Funding Over Future Space Missions In-Doubt.
The Avarilon Space Programme was holding is breath last night as debates over funding continue. While government expenditure on the space programme is relatively low compared with other areas of spending, some objections have been raised over the A45 billion spent annually by ASP.

The organisation defended spending, stating that "it was in Avaerilon's interests to maintain a healthy interest in space."
Professor Ifor Morgan, head of the body, told reporters: "We put men on the Moon in 1954, and on Mars in 1983. We can achieve great things in space, such as furthering science, technology and co-operating with our friends and allies in the SLU."

However, a member of the Budgetary Select Committee, Nigel McDonna, suggested that "it was not necessary" to develop craft for space travel. "No-one but the most wealthy would be able to afford it. And even then, what would they do? Just sit in a craft for a couple of days, looking at stars. Hardly worth the money we are investing. Avaerilon has done all the important stuff already. We should focus on winding-down non-terrestrial activities."

"Mouthwash available in too-few flavours," Claim Organisation.
The dental charity Happy Mouths, Happy Lives, has derided NHS dentists and pharmaceutical companies for "not providing mouthwash enough varieties of mouthwash."

The group claims that the current range of flavours is unappealing and serves to put people off using it. Fleyr Dechaubath complained loudly that "people don't like spearmint or peppermint or green... er... mint mouthwash! We should be allowed to choose chocolate, strawberry or even chicken-flavoured versions!"

Her cries were dismissed by a senior dentist, Robert Glan. "People expect a certain kind of flavour from mouthwash- it assures them that it is in-fact a working brand. Also, mint is good for one's teeth, as studies have shown."

Major manufacturers have yet to comment.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

Apologies for the delay; ANI suffered severe power cuts over the course of the last week.

Avaerilon Hit by Huge Lightning Storms
Power has been restored to thousands of homes throughout Avaerilon today after lighting storms caused power-cuts and outages nationwide. Avaerilonian Energy confirmed that over 75,000 homes were cut-off from electrical supplies for at least 2 days; many of these homes in rural Fereldan. There were smaller numbers in Morrowind and Dunaemair; Arnalor seems to have escaped unscathed.

Strong winds hampered efforts to restore power in several areas. The storm is believed to have been the result of a high pressure system from the west hitting a cold-front coming from the mainland SLU.

Mark Jenkins, Chief Engineer of AE's Emergency Recovery department , told ANI that "this was the worst he'd seen for over20 years."
"I've seen some bad storms in my time, but this one just took the biscuit. We had winds of 80mph, lightning striking the hills every minute: it was quite terrifying."

The actual outages were caused when lighting struck several small-scale wind farms, and damaged numerous turbines. Engineers had to cut the entire supply to safely recover and repair the turbines. Avaerilon does not have any above-ground substations or power lines, so it took a direct hit to the source to cause an outage.

Call for More Private Universities
Senior figures from the notable Prifysgol Prifat Chwerfon (Chwerfon Private University) have called for more non-public universities to be provided. So far, PPC is the only private university in Avaerilon, with the hundreds of others all public institutions.

Marie Lowri Saunders spoke at a press conference, telling journalists "private universities are modern, forward-thinking, and give students a different take on life."

Meanwhile, both the Minister of Education and the Minister of Universities dismissed her claims. "Liberals respect that some people may wish to offer private education, but we feel that with universities, it is far better for them to be part of the successful state system." Said Carrock Craven, the Minister of Universities. Geraint Hopkins, Minister of Education, told ANI: "While private education in the secondary schooling age can be incredibly helpful to some children and their parents, there is simply no need for it in later life. Lecturers and senior academic staff can srt their own courses without too much government red-tape. We are able to monitor the quality and protect the interests of everyone evenly."

"This has been so successful, Avaerilon only has one fee-paying university, although we recognise that it is a good institution."
PPC charges students A15,000 a year to study and live on its campus in the wealthy town of Chwerfon.

Government Announces Potential Shortage of Apples
The Ministry of Agriculture has warned apple-growers and cider- makers that this year might be tough on the staple crop and favoured fruit of Avaerilon. Senior meteorologists believe a dry and hot summer in south-West Avaerilon could herald a bad year for apples.

"I'm practically shivering," Said Quentin McTyrra, a cider-presser renowned for his crisp scrumpy. "People could have to go without a glass of Old Cloudy of Mary Rose for a whole summer! This is cider country; folks are getting anxious."

The government has appealed for calm.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
Keeping you informed, wherever you are!

Apologies for the delay; our masts had their wires chewed by dragonlings last week.

Avaerilon Claims Gold Vein Amidst Regional Crisis

The Incredibly Nice Kingdom of Avaerilon has asserted and cemented control over the gold vein located deep in the ocean between itself and Narglandia, against the backdrop if an international crisis. The deposit, named Yr Gadwyn Aur ("er-gad-oon-hour;" "The Gold Chain"), was formally claimed by Avaerilon last week, and the Patrician Havelock Vetinari travelled to the site to claim it for Avaerilon.

Discovered by Narglandian explorers, nations were divided over its rightful use. Avaerilon was supported by some nations, notable North American Republics and Michutopia, in claiming the deposit to be placed under its own stringent environmental laws. The site is now an SSI Zone (Zone of Special Scientific Interest), which means no mining or construction can take place. Problems arose with an oil platform that was scuttled by the Christian Conglomerate to save the lives of numerous divers, but a kevlar net caught the pieces, which would have destroyed a coral chain.

Tensions arose after NAR blockaded the area to prevent mining, only allowing Avaerilonian geologists and scientists through to study the vein. It is now understood disturbing the vein could create havoc in Avaerilon, due to underlying seismic activity.

Economic Outlook "Sunny," According to Analysts

Avaerilon is likely to recover from a sluggish economy and move-into a long period of growth, according to a report commissioned by a group of economic analysts. The Mathers Report says that Avaerilon should see "considerable economic growth," with "a sunny outlook ahead."

The main reasons for this being the case appear to be a growing ICT sector, machinery exports, and Lundainium becoming one of the top financial sectors of the region.

However, the report warned that if the government continued to "appear harsh on medium-sized businesses," the outlook would be considerably less welcoming.

The Archchancellor is said to be "exceedingly pleased" with the report's findings. However, it was criticised by the Conservative party as "lacking any desire to encourage long-term growth with larger businesses."

Poor Weather Makes Population "Miserable"

The recent downpours in Avaerilon have begin to cause "misery" among ordinary people, at least in Fereldan and Morrowind. The grey skies, cloudy days, low temperatures and constant rain have seen people seldom leaving their homes, in the larger cities of the two isles.

Dunmer have complained of "disgusting weather" and "not being able to venture a mile from our homes" for fear of getting a chill. The Ashlands has seen some considerable localised flooding. Molag Amur did attract more tourists than usual, due to the rain evaporating from the hot rocks. However, it has prevented aircraft from flying over the area.

Meanwhile, many Britons were loathe to leave either their fireplaces or taverns. Local innkeeps reported "mass silence" and "sullen pint-drinking all day" across the island.

So far, it seems only the Gaels have benefited, no longer being the region with the worst weather (Dunaemair). There were reports of "mass snickering" amongst residents, which irked the central and eastern dwellers of the nation.

[Avaerilon]

Avaerilon News International
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Private Donations Cap Lifted
A cap on private donations over A5,000 was lifted today by Parliament, allowing more wealthy backers and companies to donate to political parties. The repeal of previous legislation, made under a Social Democrat-led government ten years ago, was hailed as "momentous" by some groups.

"Finally, those with the money can show how much they support their respective party." Said Maire McDougal of Unlock the Box, a group which campaigned for the move. Also adding their support were the Institute of Small Businesses, the Centrist Party, and some Conservative MPs.

Speaking on behalf of the government, Prime Minister Gwilym Glydston said "we have maintained the banning of large businesses from donating sums of money, along with corporate bosses. However, we have reversed some of the rather reactionary legislation the Social Democrats put in-place to alienate business."

But Transparency for Ballots condemned the move, saying the rich would now be able to manipulate politics. The Social Democrats also pursued a similar lie of argument. However, there is still a A100,000 limit over 5 years, which the government says "negates" the concerns of some groups.

Price of Stamps to Fall
Post Brenhinol (Royal Post), the state-owned postal service in Avaerilon, has announced a decrease in the price of stamps. First-class stamps would drop by 11 pence in cost, while Second-class stamps would see 8 pence lost. The price of Economy-class stamps has not been changed, following legislation last year prohibiting move to increase or decrease the cost of stamps aimed at the poorest.

The parties of Avaerilon were united in their approval of this move, including the RNP in Morrowind, who endorsed it at the last minute in a surprise move last week.

PB announced the change in price as "rewarding our loyal users for their patience and custom." The revenue of PB hit an all-time high this year, with over A1.2 billion in profits, a world away from the huge losses of ten years ago.

"Foolish" Thief Steals "worthless copy" of Y Bwy Bach.
In a bugled burglary, a printed copy worth just A2.30 of the famous Y Bwy Bach (The Little Hunchback) was stolen from The National Gallery last night, detectives can reveal.

The printed copy was part of the "How Real Is It?" exhibition at The National Gallery, showcasing the quality of postcard prints of Avaerilonian art.

"It appears the thief did not know that the real painting was very large, contained within a frame, clearly protected by a glass case, or obviously painted." Said CDI Marc Lwfer.

The gallery is said "not be to anxious to get the damn thing back- we still have the real thing. God it's hideous!"

[Avaerilon]

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Avaerilon Ranked No.8 in the Region for Niceness.
Avaerilon has been ranked at number 8 in the latest World Assembly census; this time on niceness. Avaerilon fought-off stiff competition from other nations to make it into the top-10 of the SLU. The announcement was made officially by Iago Penderyn, the Foreign Minister, in this morning's House of Commons meeting. He congratulated the various government ministers, legislators, and the Royal Court, for "showcasing just how pleasant and friendly a nation we are."

People celebrated in the streets of cities and towns across the country by baking cakes, scones and pastries, as well as making large quantities of tea, coffee and hot chocolate, and sharing them with neighbours, strangers and numerous tourists.

Dentists are said to be "mildly concerned."

Compulsory Election of Party Ministerial Candidates Proposed.
The government has said it is considering legislation that would force all political parties to allow their members to vote on who their party would have as their ministerial team. The Liberal Party already allows members to do so at AGM meetings. "In doing so, we allow the people to have the say in who would become the ministers for the various ministries. We are extending the democracy of the general election to, effectively, allow the people to vote for the ministerial positions themselves." Said Dr Gwilym Gladstyn, Prime Minister.

Baladas Deminvani of the Centrist Party welcomed the move, praising "the government for rightly pursuing this democratic initiative. After all, we, like the Liberals,allow our own people to choose who might well become the men and women who run the country."

The reception from the Social Democrats and Conservatives was mixed. Moderates in both parties agreed with the move, whilst hard-liners refused to endorse them. This plunges the Social Democrats into further chaos, since they are already wreaked with rumours of a three-way split between "red flag" Socialists, moderate "true" Social Democrats, and "champagne-socialists."

The legislation will likely pass, with the Liberals controlling more then 50% of the seats in the Commons, and the entire party behind the proposals.

"MyFace" Launch Sparks Controversy.
A social-networking site, designed for "less-technologically-inclined" middle-aged adults, has been launched. The move was welcomed by Adults Speaking Lingo-techinca (ASL), whose leader, Amanda Creep, said "us adults can finally use social-networking without worrying about all these things we find much too complex. Plus, we only get to talk to other adults; isn't it great!"

The response wasn't all positive, however. Teens With Attitude Techno (///error:unable_to_show_abbrev:///) called the site "stupid, a waste of time, and really weird." Although leader Dominic Lincyn acknowledged "it keeps the creeps away from us on other sites," he stated that "it's just odd; 40-something year-olds socialising online..."

Meanwhile, most other internet-savvy individuals were "lolling" across the net.

[Avaerilon]

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EMERGENCY NEWS BULLETIN

An Official Statement from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs

The Incredibly Nice Kingdom of Avaerilon has just been informed, as have many of you, that a group calling itself the People's Front for Social Liberation (PFSL), with the support of a significant amount of members of the North American military, has instituted a coup in the Council Republic of North American Republics. As of yet, they appear to have taken-control of the media, and are distributing Leninist propaganda to the population, and to the wider region.

We are gravely disturbed by the actions of what appears to be a Marxist-Leninist organisation, bent on oppressing the fine people of one of our most trusted allies, if not the most trusted.

Avaerilon states that we do not accept the so-called Union of Socialist North American Republics as a legitimate political body. We recognise only the democratically-elected members of the NARan adminstration under People's Commissar Bryan. As such, we have liaised with NATO, who are in the process of locking-down and securing areas they are currently stationed-in within NAR. This is to ensure the PFSL does not have access to further weapons, and to ensure that another line of defence is ready in NAR. As of yet, we have no reports of defections from NATO to the PFSL, and believe it will remain that way.

We call upon the PFSL to cease their mindless aggression and lay-down all their arms. Avaerilon wishes to assist in engaging their leaders with meaningful dialogue, but we will use force if we are unable to convince these individuals to relent. Avaerilon once again reiterates its undying support to the CRNAR and the administration of People's Commissar Bryan, and we will make ready any preparations they require, and lend to them any assistance.

We will not tolerate this flagrant abuse of the CRNAR's laws, values and people.

Should the PFSL persist, the consequences will indeed be severe. We hope that stationed NATO troops and NARan servicemen and women are successful in quashing this armed assault on their nation, and are ready to assist in any way.

Iago Penderyn, Minister of Foreign Affairs

[Avaerilon]

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BREAKING NEWS: People's Commissar Bryan and North American government land in Avaerilon

Amidst what appears to be an escalating military-backed coup of Leninists in North American Republics, the elected leader and government of the CRNAR have landed in-exile in Avaerilon.

Reports cannot be independently verified, as the media has now been taken-over and journalists rounded-up within the embattled island nation, but ANI understands the decision was made for fears of "a genuine threat to our lives from them [the PFSL]."

ANI also understands that NATO forces, currently minuscule in NAR due to routine operations elsewhere, have adopted a defensive position in maintaining control over their bases. It was from one of these that the government travelled to. An Avaerilonian RAAF Victor bomber was used to fly the officials at high-speed and altitude for reasons of "pure safety and speed."

The government of Avaerilon has once again stated it "does not recognise the PFSL as a legitimate political body" and "will do everything it can to return NAR to normal, working with our allies."

A statement from the People's Commissar, currently staying with His Majesty the King in Castell y Draig, is expected shortly.



The Victor used in the daring escape.

[North American Republics]

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BREAKING NEWS: People's Commissar Bryan's speech to the region

Friends, comrades, upstanding regional citizens, I come before you all today to plead for assistance against the Leninist tyranny that has befallen my nation. These jackals have bought the support of the military establishment and are now on their way to occupy the Workers' National Council, the strongest symbol of the democratic government in my nation. Should the Council Chambers be taken over, the Council Republic of North American Republics will be no more. In its place will be the dictatorial committee of the PFSL that will force council delegates to accept a new constitution and accept subjugation against their will.

We have much to fear from this organization; their origins are uncertain and they are well organized. The chances that they will finally complete their coup d'etat are high and the council republic government cannot survive long in exile. Now is the time for the region to show its commitment to democracy! Now is the time for us to unite against the brutal takeover of a legitimate government! Now is the time for the region to act!

We need your help. We come to the region on our knees and beg you all to act in favor of the council republic government. We have lost every shred of dignity that we still had, but it must be done to protect the people of the North American Republics. I have nothing more to say, but remember this, should the people of the region not act, other governments may fall at the hands of these Leninists. Thank you.

[Avaerilon]

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Tax-Exemption Expanded to More Low-Earners
The government has announced that citizens currently earning under A15,000 will become exempt from paying tax on their earnings. The Liberal Party published a white paper on expanding the lax-free status of low-earnings from A12,500 and less. The move was supported in a free vote in Parliament by the Social Democrats, the DNP and the RNP. Some support came from the "progressive wing" of the Centrists, and from the "liberal conservatives" portion of the Tories. The remainder largely abstained.

This means some further 20,000 Avaerilonians will pay zero tax on their earnings. The move was welcomed by the left-leaning think-tank Policy Forward. Chairwoman Aoife Thomas told journalists "this inclusion of more lower-earning citizens will take a huge burden off the shoulders of many families and first-time employees. I think students especially will see the benefit very soon."

The Archchancellor announced a tax increase of 2.5% on the highest earners, along with a 0.001% increase on financial transactions worth over A250,000, to pay for the measure. She assured some members of the Commons that "this would in-fact generate more income for the country."

"Huge" Banknote-Forging Ring Arrested
A criminal gang of at least 50 persons was broken-up today and all of its members arrested in one of the biggest police raids in Avaerilonian history. The Royal Police Bureau had been tracking the movements and activities of a gang based in Dunaemair, who were attempting to forge Avaerilonian banknotes. Detectives and agents gave a press conference at noon today.

"At around 9 o'clock, agents, officers, and police detectives moved-in on a sophisticated operation based in Dunaemair. Over 50 arrests were made by officials, which included some 12 foreign-born criminals. The majority were Avaerilonian-born, and were known persons to us."

"Some A5 million forged notes were found, with exceptional attention to detail. However, our experts were quickly able to identify significant flaws. All the members of the gang have been arrested, and are currently being questioned. It is almost certain that they will all be charged with various offences."

Tree Bark the Latest Remedy, says Health-Food Company
A controversial company has begun marketing bark from trees as a "health remedy and vitality booster." Wetbranch & Co. have begun the sale of largely eucalyptus and beech tree bark, for A5 per half a kilogramme.

Listed benefits are said to include "glowing skin, strong teeth, and a reduction in baldness."

Apothecary experts refused to endorse the products, and were said to have called the idea "barking."

[Avaerilon]

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Two Nights of Utter War- Nearly 350 Soldiers Dead in Fierce Fighting
The Ministry of Defence has confirmed at least 349 Avaerilonian armed service personnel were killed in action over the last two days, amidst the fierce fighting raging in the current liberation of Franco Lowlands and the surrounding nations. The Minister of Defence, Robert Campbell, spoke to confirm the deaths.

"It is my sad and heart-rending duty to inform the nation of the deaths of these brave and courageous men... Their bodies have been flown home to be repatriated and later buried. Our thoughts are with their families and loved ones. However, their deaths were not in vain... we have destroyed an important Leninist complex that manufactured gaseous death, to be used... on ULDU citizens... and taken the strategic location of Franco Island."

Sergeant Cob MacDonald, flown to hospital after being shot twice in the leg while storming the defences of Franco Island, was able to speak to ANI reporters in Franco-Higlands, currently split between Avaerilonian control of the mountains, and Leninist control of the lower-ground. "It was quite frightening... the explosions, screams and gunfire was deafening. The Francish were committed to going down fighting. Every bullet represented Leninism to them. For us, we had to take the island... we needed to remind the world that we can stand up to them."

21 of the deaths took place in the Lowlands, where a crack team of commandos breached a chemical plant, killing at least a hundred elite troops in the process. The plant, which was to manufacture poison gas to use against ULDU citizens, was destroyed by high-explosive bombs dropped by a RAAF Victor.

Snap Leadership Election Rocks Social Democrats
The Social Democrat Party, currently the main opposition in the House of Commons, has been today shocked by leader Helen Murdoch resigning, over what she called "unworkable party divides."

Ms Murdoch, leader of the party for the last six years, saw the party's poll-ratings fall from a high of around 35% to just 17% at various points during her tenure. While they have recovered somewhat, party divides between socialists, moderates and "champagne-socialists" have given both the Liberals and Centrists a boost in the polls, with the latter party currently polling the second-highest.

Ms Murdoch had, as of yet, declined to comment further. The party, which has at times been part of a federal coalition, or even a majority government, is now "undergoing a difficult transition."

A snap election will be held in 3 weeks, with the popular Baryl Morvayn likely to top the vote from party members. Mr Morvayn had called for "an end to tribalism" in the party and "for us to, once again, return to the true social-democratic left we occupied five or ten years ago." Meanwhile, ardent socialist Sianead McPherson is set to take the vote from the more radical wing of the part. Ms McPherson has been noted as wanting to end the use of grammar schools.

New Fridge Delivered to King, Onlookers Marvel at Ice Dispenser
His Majesty is understood to have taken delivery of a new fridge yesterday, after reports circulated that "he was fed up of having to rummage-around for ice cubes."

The new Quicksilver model of fridge by Silver Arrow Refrigeration ltd. features an ice-dispenser; an uncommon site in Avaerilon. "He just has to push a button... marvellous!" Exclaimed excited onlooker Charles ap Morgan. Alice Watkins told reporters "it was very shiny, like a space rocket! I just knew whatever the King keeps in there is going to be... well, cold."

It is commonly-known that His Majesty prefers to mix his own drinks, rather than have someone else employed to do so. Official reasons given for this have ranged from security threats to a disapproval of weak cocktails.

[Avaerilon]

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Peace Plan Rejected by Newhalla- Regional Tension Rises
The Penderyn Peace Plan, created by Foreign Minister Iago Penderyn to ease the Francish and Blackacrean nations into a peaceful democracy, has been rejected by the nation of Newhalla, prompting concerns that the region may suffer a prolonged war, only this time with a fractured ULDU.

The Allied States of Newhalla rejected the proposal, citing a loss of trade from Francish attacks on Hallan vessels and the Francish blockade, as well as making the bold claim that they had born the brunt of the fighting.

Mr. Penderyn rejected Newhalla's position, as did the new liberal government of Franco-Lowlands. The Foreign Minister cited losses on both sides, as well as the theatre of war itself. However, he suggested the fearful possibility of action against Newhalla, should it disrupt the rebuilding of the stricken area.

"It seems somewhat irresponsible to me," He told journalists at a press conference in Dunedin today. "We would imagine that Newhalla would want to assist in rebuilding the nations, and worry about trade later. However... it seems their interests are different to ours. We hope it won't... come down to conflict, but these are uncertain times."

The ULDU, in a move led jointly by Newhalla and Avaerilon, invaded the Francish nations after a Leninist government was elected. While controversial, it had broad international support. Several thousand soldiers from the three main armies were killed, although Avaerilon avoided heavier losses by utilising the RAAF effectively. We will attempt to keep you informed on this matter.

Avaerilon Set for More Bad Weather
Meteorologists from leading meteorological societies have issued a joint warning that Avaerilon will face more heavy rain and storms in the coming days.

The Royal Board of Meteorological Societies issued a report which says up to 20mm could fall in the nation in the next day alone. Arnalor is unusually set for the worst weather, where strong winds are expected to reach up to 80 mph. Residents of central and eastern Arnalor are advised to stay indoors and keep warm. However, the large number of forest-dwelling residents means that the trees will likely bare the brunt of the wind, although safety checks are being carried out in some glades.

Dunaemair and Fereldan will get more rain (24mm is expected) but less wind, with speeds in the most exposed areas estimated at 55 mph. Trains are expected to be delayed in most areas. Meanwhile, Morrowind gets a bit of a reprieve from ash storms due to the rain, which will make the ash unlikely to move for some time due to the weight. Winds are also slower at 20 mph max.

Man Awakes in Phone Booth- Confused and Utterly Sober
An Ald-Ruhn man awoke in the morning to find himself not at home, in bed, but in a phone booth outside Bal Isra.

Ardos Vendolivi explained to police who were nearby his predicament. "I went home after work, had a shower, made dinner for my girlfriend and went to bed after a film. No wine, no beer, just water. And then I have this weird dream about spinach... anyway, I awoke in a cold phone booth, fully-clothed, and with no idea how I came to be here!"

Police confirmed Mr. Vendolivi had zero alcohol in his blood, and had no evidence to suggest he was taken by someone else to the booth. "We advise that he not cook any scrib for a while... maybe it's off."

[Avaerilon]

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UPDATE ON PENDERYN PEACE PLAN

The Allied States of Newhalla has withdrawn its opposition to the Penderyn Peace Plan for the Francish and Blackacrean nations, after attending a ULDU summit.

Newhalla had been opposed to the treaty on the grounds that the new government of Franco-Lowlands refused to pay compensation for civilian shipping attacked during the Leninist blockade. However, Iago Penderyn, using stern wording, managed to convince the Hallan nation that it would be in their own interests to support the plan.

It is believed the plan could be implemented as early as tea-time tomorrow.

[Avaerilon]

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Government Raises Levy on Wealthy Émigrés
Avaerilon will introduce a levy on wealthier émigrés amounting to 50% of their total wealth, after a vote in the Commons yesterday. The proposal was co-written by both Liberal government officials and members of the Social-Democrat party, in what some pundits are suggesting was a last-ditch attempt to heal relations between the two parties by the Social Democrats, with the locals elections of Fereldan looming, in which the party is predicted to do badly.

The legislation means that anyone whose personal wealth equals A2.5 million or greater will be subject to a 50% levy on their wealth, should they choose to leave the country for another.

The Conservatives largely dismissed the bill, with some Tories vehemently opposed. The Conservative Treasury Secretary, Mya Fortigeryn, condemned the levy. "This is utterly unacceptable. It takes away so much from those who either inherit from their hard-working parents, or have contributed so much to our society. It will simply prevent our nation from receiving skilled individuals from the SLU, who plan to leave after a tenure here."

In-contrast, the Social Democrat Treasury Secretary Duncan McCleod praised the legislation. "This is designed purely to target the very rich, who are already planning on fleeing to tax havens. It may also make those skilled wealthy people think twice about leaving Avaerilon."

The President of the Liberal Party, Seorse Cadwallon also spoke favourably of it. "Immigration figures have time-and-again shown that we have an influx of skilled people, and not a net loss. This levy ensures that the country does not lose-out on a skilled person leaving the nation, and allows them to leave with plenty of money, but ensuring the nation does not financially suffer."

The Centrists' response was incredibly muted, with few speaking at all on the legislation. The party abstained from voting. There were some notable dissenters from the Tories, and in-contrast very vocal condemnation of the bill from the DNP ad RNP.

Local Elections in Fereldan- Losses Predicted for Social Democrats
The latest poll-ratings from a variety of analyst groups suggest that the Social Democrat party will lose up to 15% of its votes in the upcoming local elections for Fereldan's devolved parliament.

The party, which was level with the Centrists in the last election, is set to be the third-largest in the parliament, with most leaving voters now supporting the Liberals, who currently govern as a majority in Fereldan. Most groups put the average at around 8-9%, citing voters being dissatisfied with the reaction of the part to the events surrounding the Leninist coups in various SLU nations.

"They look to voters as a party who didn't really care, or didn't want Avaerilon to get involved with what voters think they saw as someone else's problem," Said Dinmar Vanyoni, the chief political analyst from AvPol ltd. "The Liberals had both tough and constructive words, which pleased a lot of usually pacifistic people, but had the actions to back-them-up. They proved Liberalism can be tough and can defend itself."

Meanwhile, the Centrists stand to lose around 4.5-5% of their support, with much of it going again to the Liberals. The Conservatives appear to be suffering no losses, but no gains, either.

Avaerilonians "are made-up and non-existent," claims Man with Aluminium-Foil Hat, 47
A small, watery man from Chadwick, England, has denounced the Avaerilonian nation as "a figment of the modern imagination" and "a fantasy the mass-media has invented.

Alan Toxbury, 47, a former sales-clerk at Carpetworld, finance division, ranted via the internet about the nation. "They, THEY want us to think that this so-called "Avaerilon" actually exists. Why? WHY?! Er... the, er, the voices in... in my... er..."

The government has dismissed his claims as "a complete waste of time. Now, go away and bother someone else."

[Avaerilon]

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Liberals Euphoric in Fereldan with Landslide Victory
The governing Liberal Party was celebrating last night after making substantial gains in the local elections of Fereldan's Parliament, which it already dominates. The Liberals won a shock 68.4% of the vote, up from an already strong 53%. Much of their new supporters came from the Social Democrats, who lost 8.3% of their vote, along with the Centrists, who saw a 4.2% slump. The Conservatives lost little in the way of votes, but still found themselves down 1.2%, most of that going to the Centrists.

Dinmar Vanyoni, the chief political analyst from AvPol ltd, expressed his view to ANI. "This was an election victory to be expected, although perhaps by not so much. At any rate, we knew who the winners and losers were going to be."

Independent-runners saw a mild 1.3% rise in support, bringing their total to 6.3% in the devolved parliament.

Final Results:

• The Liberal Party: 68.4%
  
• The Centrist Party: 13.2%
  
• The Social Democrats: 6.8%
  
• The Conservative Party: 5.3%
  
• Independents: 6.3%

Price of Aluminium Sky-Rockets, Treasury Hopeful
The global price of aluminium has sky-rocketed in the last three days, prompting optimism in the government for further revenue from the metal. Demand for the metal shot-up after numerous safety reviews over steel-bodied aircraft in various nations. Avaerilon happens to sit-atop lucrative deposits of the metal, even though only three mines operate nationwide.

"The price of aluminium has reached over NS$2,680 per tonne in many nations. This is good news for our economy, since we export high-grade aluminium," Said Treasury Spokeswoman Mina O'Connor. "Since the aluminium is of a grade that exceeds the stricter requirements for higher-altitude aircraft, it stands to reason that more buyers will wish to do business with Avaerilon."

The metal trade was damaged in reputation after it emerged graphite -mining and processing companies had supplied graphite to the Bigtopian government. The graphite was used to build the ill-fated Scalewind reactors, which suffered a catastrophic fire earlier this year.

Anatidaephobia on the Rise
Anatidaephobia, or the fear that "the duck" is always watching oneself, is apparently being diagnosed increasingly across the nation. Dr. Elise Caer explained the symptoms to ANI.

"You start to get really paranoid; you feel that that duck is always watching you. Even in a room without windows... I've seen a hatred of geese and swans develop in the most extreme cases."

Nigel Eglws, a sufferer of the phobia, talked to ANI about his experience.

"Well, it started when I was a little boy. We used to feed the geese in the park, see. But then... oh my fathers' beards, but one day did a duck swim toward me... I couldn't help but cry out, and hold the bread away from its beak!"

"And the look it gave me had 'I'm watching you' all over it... you, er, don't want to go somewhere with no windows, do you? Like a cave? I know a really good one..."

The NHS is said to be "concerned and dedicated to treating any phobias," even those that were "beyond reasoning."

[Avaerilon]

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Government Launches Inquest After Near-Fatality at Mine
The government has called for an inquest into the running of a copper mine in Dunaemair, after twelve miners were nearly trapped by a rock-slide yesterday evening.

The Ministry of Internal Affairs released a statement, which included a section on the launching of an official investigation, led by the geologist Dr. Arran Tregennis.

"The government will now launch an official inquiry, with a team of legal, geological and other professional experts, to be led by Dr. Arran Tregennis of the Royal Geologists' Society (Cymdeithas y Daearegwyr Frenhinol; CDF), which hereby shall be known as the Tregennis Inquest.

This board will examine the reasons for this near-catastrophe, which could have killed up to 12 mining men, and make recommendations, which will be debated by Parliament. They will also have the power to bring any person or organisation to court for misconduct, or any such disregard for Avaerilonian law."

The Sliabh Dubh mine in western Dunaemair has produced small quantities of high-grade copper since 1876. It was bought from the McPherson family in 1904 by the Northern Mining Company (Y Cwmni Mwyngloddio Gogledd), who operated it until 1978, when it closed due to flooding. It was re-opened in 1998 by Spelga Mines ltd., and then bought two years ago by Dee-Cwps, a mineral-extraction company.

"Gender-balance is perfect in Avaerilon," says Leading Academic Study
The gender-balance in Avaerilon has been described as "the benchmark" by an international study of more than 20,000 nations. Professor Julia Cliffe, of the International Human Institute, gave Avaerilon a glowing report.

"Too many nations of a "conservative" nature oppress women in politics, speech and do not protect them from harm. On the other side of that ugly coin, too many so-called "liberal" nations refuse to acknowledge men as victims, consider them stupid and oafish, and believe women are superior beings."

"In-contrast to these flagrant injustices, Avaerilon can boast that men and women are true equals, with recognition of their differences that nature made. A man can be a nurse as easily as a woman can be a surgeon, no primary school shuns male teachers, and no aircraft is closed to a female pilot. There are no sex crimes, or records of problems. Men and women are comfortable with each other as equals."

Reasons for the status of "Achieved Genuine Equality," or AGE, were given as superior education, an informed media, and a lack of a will to discuss all matters by most people.

"Chickens stole my husband!" Claims Elva Hopkins, 57
An Arnolorian woman is leading a police-enforced search operation to find Mihangel Hopkins, 56, who was reported to have been kidnaped by a gang of more than fifty chickens.

Mr. Hopkins, a retired cooper, was having a flagon of ale in his garden when he suddenly disappeared, with the sound of angry, excited clucking in the near-distance, as well as a cloud of feathers. He has not been seen since.

"My poor darling! He never did like those chickens, he did not. Always gave them the eye and made the mark. I never took much of a fancy to them, myself. We always had goose instead."

Police are said to be treating this as "human kidnap by fowl means."

The chickens are believed to be clucky, broody, and potentially peckish. The public has been advised to avoid all chickens if possible, or find the nearest fox if in any peril.

[Avaerilon]

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Less than Two Weeks Before Patriciancy Elections Begin- Incumbent Lord Vetinari Confident of a Third Term
In under two weeks' time, Avaerilonians will be voting in the up-coming election for the position of Patrician, and preparations are already underway for the voting to be able to take place.

The Patrician, leader of the House of Lords, and essentially the second head representative of the government, is elected via the Alternative Voting System; or AV. Their term lasts for seven years, so as to allow them to assist a new government with their skill and experience.

Lord Havelock Vetinari was elected with a strong majority 14 years ago; he increased his margin 7 years previously. Now, the incumbent looks to run for another term, which, under Avaerilonian law, will be his last.

"I am excited to announce that I will indeed be seeking to retain my position," His Excellency told reporters this morning.

"Having served this country for 14 years as Patrician, and having seen so many good things achieved, I can only wish to continue."

While he is officially neutral, Lord Vetinari has been noted for his Liberal views. Political analyst Sian Stefens was available to comment.

"Clearly, if Vetinari is re-elected, the governing Liberal Party will be helped. They'll have another sympathetic figure, with plenty of clout. It seems likely that the Tories would suffer if Vetinari stayed Patrician."

Prominent challengers include Lord Canolwyr, a former judge and Law-Lord in the Lords; Lady Lia McConwy, the long-time diplomat to France and Andorra, and Sion Mynyd, the former Social-Democrat Student Movement leader.

Avaerilon "will not sell" Vulcan to Foreign Nations
The Ministry of Defence confirmed this afternoon that the sterling Avaerilonian aircraft used by the FALA (Royal Avaerilonian Air Force) as a strategic bomber, the much-loved Avro Vulcan, will not be offered to foreign nations, even allies, as an exported aircraft.

Avaerilon's aerospace industry produces a huge amount of aircraft, including some military-grade aeroplanes bought by nations in the SLU and affiliated regions. However, military aircraft used in-conjunction with NATO or the elite V-Force have not been made available for foreign purchase.

Recently, however, it was suggested by several governments that the Avro Vulcan was "a desirable possibility for them to possess." Gwenllian Jones, a spokesperson from the Ministry of Defence, spoke to the press at a venue this afternoon.

"Avaerilon's delta-wing bomber, the famous Vulcan, and any aeroplane from the FALA V-Force, will not be made available for foreign purchase, public or private, with the onset of a new law with regards to trading."

"Avro will exclusively manufacture the aircraft for the use of FALA and with our NATO partners."

The measure received cross-party support in the Commons and was successfully passed yesterday.

Reasons given by the government for passing the law included a desire to maintain an advantage over potential foes.

Arm-Wrestling Champion "wants to quit and do yoga," in Shock Revelation
Bryn ap Corn, the legendary arm-wrestling champion of Avaerilon, has announced to gasps and stunned onlookers that he will be retiring from his famous sport and will instead take-up yoga lessons.

The 52 year-old tavern-wrestling star cam to fame over thirty years ago, when he defeated two boxers, a blacksmith and an ox in a single night. Since then, he has dominated world arm-wrestling with an almost unblemished career.

However, Mr. ap Corn said "he felt his spirit was lacking" and "really wanted to do some of those relaxing stretches."

"It's a tragedy, it is," Said fan Sam Unicorn.
"I always used to relax after work on a Wednesday by watching Bryn use his pinkie to defeat bouncers and strong-men in bouts. Now I'll have to actually talk to people while having an ale."

[Avaerilon]

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ELECTION SPECIAL

Patriciancy Elections Underway- Vetinari Favourite to Win
The Avaerilonian Patriciancy elections will soon underway, with the incumbent Patrician Lord Vetinari tipped to win by a margin of around 12-15%. The current head of the House of Lords is seeking a final term, but faces some fierce challengers.

Sion Mynyd, a former Social Democrat, rallied his supporters at a meeting tonight in Lyndainium.
"I think it's time we had a change; get someone new into the Lords, get someone who's less likely to support the government, and someone who will probably challenge the Royal Court more than Lord Vetinari."
However, Mr. Mynyd's sentiments weren't shared by Lord Canolwyr, former law-lord.
"I expect the voters to decide who will do the best for Avaerilon. I hope that more of them agree that I, as an experienced judge and legal expert, can provide the best check on the Commons, and as an intermediary between the Commons and His Majesty."

Lady Lia McConwy, former ambassador, also urged "against vitriol."
"Sion seems to be relying on fiery passion and words of great change. While it sounds promising, the Patrician is not meant to be an aggressive force; he or she must be calm and level-headed."

Lord Vetinari himself did not make any personal comments towards his challengers, only to wish all standing good luck. He also spoke of his hopes.
"The good people of Avaerilon have seen fit to elect me twice. I hope they continue to be pleased with the efforts I have made ton ensure democratic accountability, and that the will and good of the people is reflected in Parliament."

[Avaerilon]

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ELECTION SPECIAL: Foreign Voting Begins Today

Avaerilonian citizens living in other SLU nations will today begin casting their votes for the next Patrician of Avaerilon. The position which is effectively the head of the House of Lords is currently contested by four candidates; Sion Mynyd, Lord Canolwyr, Lady McConwy, and the incumbent, Lord Havelock Vetinari.

In last-minute speeches, debates and rallies, the four candidates have been appealing to voters across the nation, and elsewhere in the region.

Sion Mynynd claimed to be "the real change," and stressed "only someone who promises change should be considered a fit Patrician." Mr. Mynyd, the former Social Democrat student leader, has portrayed himself as the force of change, and his opponents, most notably the incumbent, as individuals who do not stand for change.

Lord Canolwyr said "radical change is not the right thing," stressing that the position of Patrician "is not about anything like this; if Mr. Mynyd wants to challenge the government at every turn like he speaks of doing, he's better-suited to becoming an MP." Lord Canolwyr also expressed his desire to see that "nothing escaped the eyes of the law" in-relation to legislation and bills, being a judge and legal expert.

Lady McConwy, a former long-term ambassador, seeks to "re-invigorate" our second-chamber's role in international politics" and "using our nation's expertise in successful democracy to assist others who want to build one."

His Excellency, Lord Havelock Vetinari, pledged to continue "working by the people, for the people," and stated "a Patrician should not be someone who always wants to upset the apple cart. He or she must be someone who sees that the cart has a bad bolt on its wheel and needs fixing rather than burning. But, if the cart is beyond fixing... well, he or she must say so rather than stand by and let its cargo fall by the wayside."

[Avaerilon]

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Patriciancy Voting Closes- Vetinari set to Win
At a little before ten minutes past ten this morning, voting for the Patriciancy of Avaerilon closed, with the final votes from Avaerilonians overseas trickling-into ballot stations. Based on 12 different exit-polls made over the course of the voting period, the incumbent Lord Havelock Vetinari is set to win, with a small boost in support.

The current Patrician did face stern competition from fiery ex-Social Democrat Sion Mynyd. However, Mr Mynyd has since capitulated, though his campaign office stated "we are confident Mr. Mynynd received significant support from Avaerilonians in other SLU nations, thus making it a genuine possibility he will receive a Special Overseas Appointment."

Under Avaerilonian law, should a candidate fail to win in Avaerilon or its overseas territories, but win in the votes cast by Avaerilonians in foreign nations, they are awarded with a Penodi Arbennig Tramor, or a "Speical Overseas Appointment." They work for the House of Lords as an adviser on the affairs of Avaerilonians abroad, and on the nations they reside in. Mr. Mynyd looks set to gain this, after a surprise rally of support for him in overseas nations.

Pundits have suggested "Liberal voter apathy" in overseas nations, which tend to contrast with the absence of apathy in Avaerilon, while others mooted that Sion Mynyd's more economically left-wing agenda appealed more to Avaerilonians overseas than Lord Vetinari's moderate economic stance, even with Mr. Mynyd's authoritarian social stance and Lord Vetinari's exceedingly liberal views.

Lord Vetinari, if indeed re-elected, will govern for one last 7-year term, before he retires.

Soft Drug use in Avaerilon Increases- Health Experts Divided over Implications
The use of soft drugs such as marijuana by Avaerilonian citizens has increased by 3.5% over the last four years, according to GIA (NHS) statistics published today.

Soft drugs are legal in Avaerilon, and their usage and production is tightly-regulated. However, it appears an increasing number of 25-35 year-olds took-up irregular soft drug habits.

Some health experts were quick to alleviate concerns for the well-being of the nation. Professor Sian Edwards of the Royal College of Medicine gave her expert views to ANI.

"While there has been recent evidence to suggest under-18s are at risk from smoking drugs like marijuana, we are really only talking about the over 25's. These are fully-developed adults making informed choices, and their bodies are better able to withstand some of these very worrying effects seen in the youngest users. Furthermore, these figures suggest irregular habits, such as a Friday joint in a cafe with friends- hardly something that would cause someone like me any alarm."

However, there was staunch criticism from other health professionals. Dr. Teleri Hapibael gave her views to journalists today.

"We should be genuinely concerned; these people are increasing their own personal risk of cancer and other terrible afflictions. There is no hard evidence that these are irregular users, either. The implications are worrying. We also have to consider the strain this could have on GIA."

Teapot named Executor in Will- Left A350 Million by Wealthy Woman
A teapot from Ffordd Owen, West Fereldan, is now one of the richest individuals in the nation, after being made the sole executor of the will of an incredibly wealthy lady.

Felicity Jones, 112, left the entirety of her accumulated wealth to a medium-sized, brown-glazed teapot, affectionately known as "Dafydd."

Lawyers and legal experts wrangled-onto the scene.

"She made an informed choice, in a legally-binding document," Said Edward ap Gruffydd, barrister. "Therefore, the teapot hereby known as Dafydd is fully-entitled to his share of the will, that share being the total sum."

Huw ap Merion was in-disagreement. "You simply cannot leave your wealth to an object- a society or a building, yes, but not a bloody teapot!"

Onlookers gathered as the Archchancellor arrived to claim the 30% tax levied on the wills of the very wealthy. He was booed by fans of the teapot, who claimed "teapots can't protect themselves; they don't pay any tax!"

However, even supportive lawyers agreed that Dafydd would be, as a wealthy teapot, be obliged to contribute to Avaerilon via tax. Said one member of the crowd:

"I wonder what he thinks? Oh wait, he's a teapot. Never mind then."

[Avaerilon]

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ELECTION VICTORY FOR VETINARI

The incumbent Patrician of Avaerilon, Lord Havelock Vetinari, has successfully retained his position as the head of the House of Lords. His Excellency, now entering his third and final 7-year term, face stiff competition, not least from firebrand Social Democrat Sion Mynynd. However, Lord Vetinari appeared to have convinced voters that his continued stewardship would be better for Avaerilon. Interestingly, Mr. Mynyd was more preferred by voters currently residing in other SLU regions.

Hugo Inglesisas, a political commentator from North American Republics, offered his expert views on the matter.

"Avaerilon is a very different place to most other SLU nations. Even people born in Avaerilon who move elsewhere for even a short time- let's say ten or fifteen years- will find things very different "at home" to where they now reside. They may even find a different mindset, at least politically."

"Sion Mynyd spoke of change, a more presidential figure, a less active monarch- these things seemed to strike well with the voters elsewhere. The latter two do not seem to have been favoured by voters in Avaerilon itself; he came third place overall as a result, likely. He also took a mildly authoritarian position- again, much at odds with the current mood of the nation."

Mr. Mynyd has now been appointed Head of the Foreign Commission, and will work on behalf of Avaerilonians overseas.

His Excellency Lord Vetinari gave no speech today; he only stated that he was "confident of ensuring Avaerilon continues to thrive, and its people remain among the freest in the world."

[Avaerilon]

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Treaty in Ruins- NAR votes to leave NATO, Avaerilon "concerned and agitated."
The Workers' National Council of North American Republics approved a move to withdraw the founding nation from the military alliance NATO, in auspicious circumstances.

Formed recently, NATO represented the culmination of close-cooperation and enviable relations between The Incredibly Nice Kingdom and the Council Republic. However, things had changed recently, with a more revolutionary political element present in the state, which also is starting to show strong anti-Avaerilonian feeling.

Local news bulletins were abound with descriptions of protests against the western island-nation, masked by being so-called anti-capitalist rallies. The semi-official news states:

Anti-capitalism protests are raging on Dawchins Island and are mostly directed at what many call the sham Avaerilonian elections. Pictures of Vetinari are being burned in the state capital along with the Avaerilonian flag.

Sion Mynyd, once a contender for the Patriciancy, was seen as a popular figure in NAR, not least for his advocacy of more socialist policies, the dissolution of the monarchy and a more presidential style of leadership. These things made him comparatively unpopular in Avaerilon and its Overseas Territories, although his international popularity earned him a special position.

Mr Mynyd was keen to distance himself from the feeling in NAR.
"It's appalling, really. I thought our two nations had such a brotherly feeling. Now I realise that some of the more radical elements of the NARan political spectrum have whipped-up hatred and fear amongst the general population. I will be travelling to the embassy in New New York myself to be there first-hand. I cannot believe the people of NAR are letting racial-hatred and intolerance get the better of them. It's a true tragedy."

Honouring the result of the vote, NATO troops from Avaerilon will be leaving the nation the day after tomorrow. Colonel Ioan Jones told ANI about the "delicate situation."

"We have all these aircraft, machinery and a substantial number of troops to move, as well as our buildings to clear. This takes time, but as we are a well-organised body, it should not be difficult. As we anticipated the result of the vote last week, we have more than enough transport vessels to get our serving men home safe."

Meanwhile, some media outlets report a small trickle of political refugees heading for Avaerilon from NAR. It has also been suggested NARan ex-NATO troops have applied for Avaerilonian citizenship. At this present moment, we cannot confirm this.

With all this as a backdrop. the government in Avaerilon has called for calm, and asks North American Republics to "please end the bad feeling between ourselves, for even if we are not military allies anymore, we still wish to keep close."

Laonamea Parliament Elections- "A Grand Coalition of the 'Left.'"
The parliamentary elections for the Overseas Territory of Laonamea have concluded with a three-party coalition leading the devolved parliament in Naigon.

The Liberal Alliance of Laonamea, the Social-Democrat Movement and Cuc-Son Danh Am, or the Green Life Party, have agreed to form a government. which will see a continued Liberal social-stance, with a more government-focussed economy. The former two parties each won around 27% of the total vote, while the latter garnered 5.5%.

The Liberals campaigned on grounds of liberty, transparency and assistance for the poor; the Social-Democrats focussed on social justice, equality and healthcare provision; the Greens on environmentalism, culture and nature-integrated living.

The federal Parliament in Avaerilon hailed the results as "another symbolic victory for our peoples and our democracy, especially those in Laonamea who suffered so much."

In the late 1970s, Laonamea suffered a guerilla-war and invasion from hardline-Leninist forces of Vaonamean origin. After a bloody war, the worst in Avaerilonian history, the invaders were pushed-back and then toppled in their own nation. This came at a huge cost, with pollution from communist weapons poisoning areas of the beautiful countryside, and tens of thousands of lives lost.

Annual Booksniffing Contest Underway
The 243rd Annual Avaerilonian Booksniffing Contest has begun in Anc-Myloch, with tens of thousands of spectators eagerly cueing to see their favourite competitors.

The competition, started by academics and scholars working in universities, sees seasoned readers blindfolded, presented a plethora of various books of various ages, and asked to guess various parameters about the works form inhaling the air around them.

"Oh, it's great fun!" Says Sian McLoghan, 27.
"When you see someone take a real, deep breath, and hear that sigh, you just now it's a good, old book with a wonderful history. What I'd give to compete..."